Taking Risks: Let's not be instant mashed potatoes

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. ~Pablo Picasso

Recently I've been reading several books that have brought up the subject of risk taking. One is about quitting school and getting a real education, and the other is a Brave Writer publication on writing with kids (homeschoolers). I have been pondering this aspect in everything around me.

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise. ~Author Unknown

I have tried to eliminate my negative attitude and I often encourage the boys to try new things; if you do nothing, you get nowhere. Yesterday I was telling Gideon, 19, who is enrolled in a special governor's entrepreneur class in college (there's big prize $ for one winning team): "This will be a rewarding learning experience. If you don't succeed in all the ways you want to this time, think of all you will learn in the process and can use for future endeavors. It's ALL a great learning adventure regardless." He knows this. Why risk? It's worth it.

I love to write and it's very therapeutic for me to do so. I like to share my delight of writing with my sons and it's important for me that they express themselves comfortably and skillfully in words. To be proficient at it though, takes courage to step out of your comfort zone and toy with words and expressions, enjoying the process and being unafraid to embrace the unknown and take some risks. I had not quite thought of writing that way before, but it seems true. You simply don't grow (or don't go) anywhere if you don't stretch yourself. Maybe it'll help me in my writing to think of it in this way. I've always enjoyed poetry but my simple attempts at writing it have felt like failures. Maybe I shouldn't give up so easily.

We've been doing some free writing exercises several times a week where you start with a subject and write nonstop for 5 to 10 minutes. You are not allowed to put your pen down. This helps to encourage those thoughts get down on paper regardless of spelling, grammar, or punctuation. What you do with it then is up to you. After many free writes your child could choose one and spiff it up. This week Benjamin wrote about "rutabagas." It seemed a silly topic and as he was writing, it started taking on the appearance of a rhyme. He was letting go and it was funny; a bit bizarre in a Dr. Seuss sort of way. But he took a risk and maybe he'll grow into liking poetry! Jeremiah took my suggestion and started his own blog featuring his superior photography. I'm not touching it with my teacher's pen; it's all his and I adore it!

We are always getting ready to live, but never living. ~Emerson

Grace Llewellyn says many typically schooled people fit the description: "Be all that you can be, according to somebody else." She claims that many hide from the chance to direct their own lives and minds-which is why a lot of them stay in safe jobs they detest all their lives and fantasize about the career risk they will take when the kids are grown, or when they retire. She continues: "Life is scary stuff, but it's real. Don't give in to fear, dance bravely and brightly. Learn to be a human bean and not instant mashed potatoes." I like that. She's a very brave writer!

A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for. ~John A. Shedd

I started thinking about this in reference to my life. So many of my early years were spent in someone else's shadow. I was an introvert and shy. Pleasing someone else seemed to be my motto for much of my existence. I did take risks but they were often someone else's idea. Even though they were good things for me to have done and I learned much, they were not MY risks.

The gift of risk lies not in what you achieve, but in who you become by taking them.

Now in my old(ish) age, and with a bit more wisdom (I believe) I am searching for myself. Who am I? Or who could I still be? Have I really lived LIFE the way I was meant to live? I'm not going to ponder that one too much as I can't go back and change anything, but I want to be in charge of who I am today. I have ideas and choices to make and lessons to learn and things to do and see in my quaint, short life. What do I really want to do that I haven't done just yet? If I wanted to make a list I could and probably will in private. Then I'll ask myself, "What is within my reach, and does it matter?" I'd like to expand my mind a bit more, tap into my creative modalities and produce something great (artistic or written?) and certainly nurture my spirit to a new level. Hey, I want to leap small buildings and let those instant mashed potatoes rot!

ScienceDaily (Sep. 19, 2005) —

Tall people are more prepared to take risks than small people, women are more careful than men, and the willingness to take risks markedly decreases with age: these are the findings arrived at by researchers from the Institute for the Study of Labor (IZA), the University of Bonn and the German Institute for Economic Research (DIW) in Berlin. For their study they evaluated more than 20,000 interviews with people from all over Germany and additionally confirmed the findings by experiment. What is particularly striking is that people who enjoy taking risks are more content with their lives.

Our Family's Favorites & Worthwhile Reading List

The following list of books include some of our all time favorites and inspirational treats (in no particular order). Many have been delightful read-alouds, especially those at the top children's section. There are some genres I'm not including like much adult fiction and very young children's books, poetry, political or historical, though they'd have a place in my favorites also, and I'm sure I've left out a few that should have been included here. These are mainly from the gist of our normal life's reading. If you want to explore new horizons or have a life changing experience, check these out!


Children/Teens:

• Heidi by Johanna Spyri
• Little Britches, Father and I Were Ranchers by Ralph Moody (and others in the series)
• Sir Gibbie by George MacDonald
• A Hive of Busy Bees by Effie M. WIlliams
  
• Treasures of the Snow by Patricia St. James
• Mama's Bank Account by Kathryn Forbes
• Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher
• James Herriot's Treasury for Children by James Herriot
  
• Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank B. Gilbreth and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey
• Charlotte's Web by E. B. White
• The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
• The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
• Little Women by by Louisa May Alcott (also Little Men)
• The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann D. Wyss
• Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
• Far North by Will Hobbs
• Lost on a Mountain in Maine by Joseph Egan
• Pagoo by Holling C. Holling
  
• Minn of the Mississippi by Holling C. Holling
• Benjamin West and his cat Grimalkin by Marguerite Henry
  
• Leonardo Da Vinci (Childhood of World Figures) by George E. Stanley
• Painting America's Wildlife: John James Audubon by Janet Stevenson
• Seeing Fingers - the story of Louis Braille byEtta DeGering
  
• Little House in the Big Woods (and others in the series) by Laura Ingalls Wilder
• Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Brink
• Missionary Stories for Children
• Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls
• Nothing is Impossible: the Story of Beatrix Potter by Dorothy Aldis
  
• So Dear to My Heart by Sterling North
• Rascal by Sterling North
• Young Thomas Edison by Sterling North
• Holes by Louis Sachar
• The Giver by Lois Lowry
• The Saturdays (and others) by Elizabeth Enright
• The Merry Adventure's of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle
• The Great Fire by Jim Murphy
• An American Plague by Jim Murphy
• Carry On, Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham
• The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Spear
• Hank the Cowdog (and many in the series) by John R. Erickson
• The Chronicles of Narnia (series) by C. S. Lewis
• Cricket in Times Square by George Selden
• There's an Owl in the Shower by Jean Craighead George
• My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
• Door in the Wall by Marguerite de Angeli
• Homesick by Jean Fritz (and her many historical fiction biographies for children)
• The Great Brain by John D.l Fitzgerald (more in the series)
• The Borrowers by Mary Norton
• Golden Goblet by Eloise Jarvis McGraw
• The Ransom of Red Chief and other stories by O. Henry
• Adam of the Road by Elizabeth Gray
• Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes
• Watership Down by Richard Adams
• Pollyanna by Eleanor Porter
• Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
• Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
• The Wheel on the School by Meindert Dejong
• Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken
• Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
• All Creatures Great and Small and others by James Herriot
• One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich and others by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
• The Strange Lives of Familiar Insects by Edwin Way Teale
• Tesla: Man Out of Time by Margaret Cheney
• Scottish Chiefs by Jane Porter
• The Librarian Who Measured the Earth by Kathryn Lasky
• Archimedes & the Door of Science by Jeanne Bendick
• Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin
• Augustus Caesar's World by Genevieve Foster
• The World of William Penn by Genevieve Foster
• Material World by Peter Menzel (photographic journal)
• Honey For a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt

Women's Interest:

• The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
• Mrs. Mike by Benedict and Nancy Freedman
• Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
• The Small Woman: The True Story of Gladys Aylward of China by Alan Burgess
  
• Honey For a Woman's Heart by Gladys Hunt
• I'm Going to be the Greatest Mom Ever by Terri Camp
• Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin
• Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl
• How to Become Your Husband's Best Friend by Gary Smalley
• Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow
• The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman by Nancy Wilson
• Praise Her in the Gates: the Calling of Christian Motherhood by Nancy Wilson
• Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus
• Seasons of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson
• Tilly by Frank E. Peretti
• Pro-Life Christians by Joe Gulotta

Educational:

• Ignite the Fire by Terri Camp
• The Holy Bible
• A Child's History of the World (also Art & Geography) by V. M. Hillyer
• The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias
• Teach Your Own by John Holt
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• The Law by Frederick Bastiat
• Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson
• The Well-Educated Mind by Susan Wise Bauer
• Literature Alive! by Cay A. Gibson
• The Moral Compass by William J. Bennett
• Letters to Jessica by Robert Bissett
  
• Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Marriage/Family Helps:

• Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl
• Grace Walk by Steve McVey
• Shattered Dreams: God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy by Larry Crabb
• The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb
• Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul by John Eldredge
• Sheet Music by Kevin Leman
• Love is a Decision by Gary Smalley & John Trent
• The Blessing by Gary Smalley & John Trent
• His Needs, Her Needs - How to Build an Affair Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley Jr.
• The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  
• Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel

Health, Nutrition, Cooking:

• Inflammation Nation by Floyd H. Chilton
• What the Bible Says About Healthy Living by Rex Russell
• Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon
  
• God & Vitamins by Marjorie Holmes
• The Hallelujah Diet by George Malkmus

I love to get recommendations and always have a "to read" list going. Please share your favorites with us too!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What I'm Reading

I don't usually read much fiction for myself. The last book of fiction I read was the huge Echo in the Darkness by Francine Rivers, which was recommended to me. I mostly read it when it comes highly recommended which is what interested me in the book Honey for a Woman's Heart. I gave "Honey..." also to my mom as a gift and she has dissected it and is finding all sorts of great treasures as a result which we discuss together.

I still like to read kid's picture books. This week at the library I found Leonardo's Horse by a favorite children's author, Jean Fritz. I have a collection of hers but didn't even know about this particular book. Now I need to buy one for my own. I have read much fiction, especially historical fiction with the boys over so many years of homeschooling (my favorite activity!) but I tend to love what is true the most and that is what excites me - real stories of real heroes in real life!!

There's a slew of interesting books all beckoning me at once. Let's see what I am reading at this scene in my life...

• Honey For a Woman's Heart by Gladys Hunt
• Living Peacefully in a Stressful World by Ron Hutchcraft
• The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn
• The Bible Cure for Weight Loss & Muscle Gain by Don Colbert, M.D. (rereading)
• The Writer's Jungle by Julie Bogart
• Families Writing by Peter R. Stillman
• Home by Choice by Brenda Hunter, Ph.D.
• Caring Enough to Forgive; Caring Enough to Not Forgive by David Augsburger
• Write Upon My Heart : Cheerfulness by Keepers of the Faith Publishing
• The Raw Food Gourmet by Gabrielle Chavez
• Your Right to be Beautiful-the Miracle of Raw Foods by Tonya Zavasta (a bit at a time)
  
• Juices & Smoothies by Suzannah; Farrow, Joanna Olivier

With the Boys:

• It's a Jungle Out There! by Ron Snell
• Created for WORK - Practical Insights for Young Men by Bob Schultz
• Fearfully & Wonderfully Made - a Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body by Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey

A Most Precious Gift

Today I am just rejoicing in the goodness of God for his many blessings, which definitely includes my four amazing sons. The honor of having them all at home and being able to teach them by-my-side for all these years is astonishing. Who would have ever thought it possible?

I empathize with women who have infertility problems, as I have experienced a total of four early miscarriages. I wouldn't have had my Jeremiah if I hadn't lost one of those little ones when I did. Since I have four boys (and of course we'd have loved a girl in there somewhere) I often think of the babies we lost as my "girls." Everyone has a story and I want to share mine from my journal of eight years ago:

“Where's ours?” My husband looked at me with those sad eyes. “When will it be our turn?” Friends of ours, with a newborn, had just left our living room. I don't remember what my answer was to these recurring questions, but I felt numb.

When I was growing up, I entertained thoughts of being a mommy. I was one of six children, and it seemed the natural thing to have a household full of children. I often doted on my twin brothers, seven years younger, and played school with my younger sister. The most exciting thing in the world to me, would be to have a child of my own.

Years passed and a wonderful man came into my life and we married. I graduated college, and for our first few years together, I enjoyed my new roles as wife and Registered Nurse, but I knew we were missing something.

About our sixth year into marriage I was overjoyed to find out I was pregnant. I started writing a journal to the little one I'd never see or hold, as she was lost to us in her 11^th week. Not long afterward, this same scenario occurred again. My heart ached and I sobbed out with empty arms. I wondered if I might ever be able have a child. My prayers never ceased and resembled those that Hannah (from the Bible) must have prayed. I took comfort, that it was possible to conceive again. I relied on God's love and His plan for us.

In our eighth year, I was with child again. At exactly the fourth month, I felt the first fluttering movements stirring within me. I was sitting in a meeting at my job at the time, and I wanted to jump up and shout. I hid my secret (with a huge smile on my face) till the meeting was over. I knew my baby was alive – a most precious gift!

Josiah was born at home in the heat of Florida's July, 1986. Words cannot describe how we felt to be parents of our darling baby. I love to look at the photo of my husband's face holding his firstborn son, with tears streaming down his cheeks, and remembering the first prayer of thanksgiving that he offered up for him.

Fourteen years have passed, and when standing, my baby's eyes now smile down into mine. He has three younger brothers, all miracles to me. I've learned to trust God in all things in my life. I can see that His timing was perfect.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Psalm 139 and I read it often... “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are they works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

We are blessed, indeed.

(Photos from top to bottom: Josiah at ten, Gideon at seven, Benjamin at four, Jeremiah at one; twelve years ago now. Josiah is presently 22)

Delighted to be Homeschooling

I retrieved a few old pals from last year and mixed in a few curious new friends from my overcrowded bookshelves, prioritized which subjects to study, thoughtfully listed some favorite want-to-read-alouds, bought some colorful notebooks and pens, found my surprise box of zoology microscope slides that I saved, and I'm rarin' to begin our adventure. I'm excited! Today was our first day to ease back into a homeschool schedule.

I say schedule even though we tend to be very flexible and relaxed. Everyone needs an agenda and I'd be lost without my weekly plan book where I write down every thing we do and plan future projects. I have a well intentioned but forgetful mind so I have to include safeguards here and there that help snap me back where I knew I wanted to be.

I love learning with the boys. It's a favorite activity! If you read this blog long enough you'll find me repeating those statements again and again. Is there anything better than relating to your child about something wonderful that God had made or revealed to you? This is what we deal with every day in our unique learning environment.

I'd love to say that my younger two boys are so independent in their learning, but they are probably pretty typical guys. They like critters, computer games, movies, playing chess, telling jokes and arm wrestling. They do each have their different interests, but they can use a good nudging and a lot of inspiration at times, and I do see time wasters flashing their lights in my direction a bit too often. We haven't "enjoyed" regular TV or even cable for twenty years, but the VCR and computer came into our lives early on. I can't go back and change those things but I feel happiest when schooling is in session.

Jeremiah, 13, also likes photography and I'm very impressed that he has pursued this interest somewhat this summer (the photos are his). I'm trying to figure out a way to have this be a part of his studies also, doing an insect/creature book or writing descriptions with scrapbook pages and to learn more about design and composition.

Benjamin, 16, has been working part time and that is a BIG change in his life where he is learning all manner of responsibility and work ethics. I am impressed with him also. A devotional book I plan to use is Bob Shultz's Created For WORK - Practical Insights for Young Men, and I'm sure Benjamin will have some first hand experiences to share with us. He's a wonderful reader with an auditory learning style and real living books continue to be the gist of our eclectic education. We don't typically use a formal subject textbook, but have found the Apologia sciences quite interesting. Ben will be doing the Exploring Creation with Biology and possibly getting together with a few other students for the experiment labs. I hope it works out.

Every year (for last 17 years) we've been doing things just a tad different. The boys change and I change. Subjects that do bear repeating can be done with a new twist to keep it interesting. I switched Jeremiah to a new math program just this morning. Book collecting has been a long term hobby which I love but I have found that having too many choices can make me crazy. It's better for me to select fewer options to focus on, but it's always nice to know my friends will be there for me.

I have many writing programs and seem to always be looking for the BEST. Probably any that I use would be fine. I am putting an emphasis on creative writing this year because it's a special interest of my own, I've been reading a lot and writing more myself, and think we need to share our loves & interests with our children. And I know that they have so much inside just waiting to be expressed in a creative writing sort of way. I continue to delight in seeing their written expressions (selves) come to life!

Recently on an email list the members were asked, "What books have most influenced your thinking with homeschooling?" I thought I would share my list here with some highlights I've uncovered that have helped me along our journey.

• The Relaxed Homeschool and The Joyful Homeschooler by Mary Hood, Ph.D.: So many new homeschoolers think their child has to cover every subject, complete every page in the book, and pass every test with A's - and they attempt to imitate with their children the education that they endured as a child. I found good, practical advice, tips for relaxing and trusting God, and following His individual plan for our family. Reading these were very encouraging to me that it was OK to be my flexible, creative self and apply it to my homeschool. It's also OK to follow a different format based on your child's individuality and needs. The multiplication tables don't have to be taught in third grade and there are going to be gaps in your students' education. I don't have to cover everything. Textbooks that try to cram so much in a small book don't do justice to the topics it shares. Reading a real book on a certain subject allows the child to really grasp a subject and internalize it for later use. I started thinking more along the lines of “What is God wanting us to learn and do?” and listening closely for His guidance.

• Dumbing Us Down by John Taylor Gatto: This past New York State Teacher of the Year showed me why typical, compulsory education is really anti-child education. He confirmed to me what I had already believed, though it was inspiring to hear it from a public educator who dared to radicalize the system and re-engage his students toward natural curiosity, independence, love of learning and community involvement. Each year I reassess if home schooling is the right choice for us at this time and in the back of my mind there is Mr. Gatto shaking his head at me and saying, "Your boys deserve the best you can give them. A collective institution that is designed to produce obediently functioning, intellectually dependent cogs, is contrary to the spirited, individualized expressions of learning that you can provide them at home in your care." I realized that imitating the public school system was out of the question and I appreciated the strong language, openness and kick in the head where I needed it!

• The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook by Dr. Raymond Moore: Pushing children (especially boys) too hard, too soon into formal learning is a “don't do”! They need those early years for exploration, play and natural growth to maturity. Since my two middle sons were very late readers I identified with this good wisdom. It didn't inhibit them in any way and in their own God given time frame, they caught up and advanced quickly. Homeschooling is more like a stress free family adventure built around your child's needs and interests. There are plenty of worthwhile creative endeavors like games, projects, crafts and work that young children should be involved in. There's a bounty of fabulous ideas, encouraging personal stories and support for everyone that loves the idea of family oriented education.

• The Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola: I own quite a number of books on the Charlotte Mason style of learning and I love them all. This is the one I refer back to the most, however. Ms. Mason's ideas for narration, copywork and dictation stood out for me to include in our education which I have delighted in and continue to use. Having the teacher mind that I do, I used to write up many of my own lessons similar to the ones in the Learning Language Arts Through Literature curriculum. This one book (along with use of a library) is the best and only book someone needs to have to homeschool effectively. Easy read, easy implementation and great results!

• Teach Your Own by John Holt: Here was an early private school educator and granddaddy homeschool guru who knows all about education and children. His friendly wisdom can persuade like no one else I've read. It's all packed in here. The chapter on dyslexia was an eye opener for me, and taught me that children with labels are smart indeed! Every parent is a facilitator and capable of teaching their own children and "watching the miracle of natural human development take off on its own." (quote from a fan)