Homeschool Struggles—What Will They Remember?

My article From Barking to Fluency, Helping you Focus While Your Struggling Reader Figures It Out just came out in the new FREE October digital issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. In it I share a bit of our personal story with a few of my reflections regarding our reading struggles along with some reassurance that you might find helpful, some of which I learned in retrospect. If you have unanswered questions in this area, or are seeking help or guidance, I urge you to read my article and the many other inspiring articles in this issue.

No one wants their child to  hurt or suffer. It's tough to see your children struggle, and seeing them distressed and frustrated with learning (to any degree) can test your patience. And your emotions. Often, we lack understanding.

I think Jim Hensen had it right: 

 “[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. 

They remember what you are.”  

Or who you are. 

Regardless of my child's particular need or situation, I have to ask myself: How did I present lessons? What were my priorities? How did I react? Did I show respect to them and others? Did I encourage? Was I truthful? Loving?

What will they remember? 

• Yelling? 
• Crying? 
• Laughing 'til their guts hurt? 
• Letting them have a say? 
• Disagreeing with them?
• Thanking God? 
• Joking around?
• Eating late dinners?
• Unjust punishment?
• Losing my cool?
• Apologies?
• Trying alternatives until something works?
• Smiles and praises for a job well done?
• Ignoring them?
• Spending too much time on the computer?
• Explaining things to them?
• Making nourishing meals and yummy snacks?
• Pushing too hard? 
• Standing up for them?
• Rejoicing and praying with them?

I don't know exactly . . .

They still speak to me, and sometimes want to be around me, and give me hugs. I think they know that my heart has always been in the right place, and though we've had our moments, love shines through and it lasts. 

We all make mistakes and hopefully learn something constructive along the way. Sometimes I've pondered . . .

Has homeschooling been the best thing for us?  

My husband and I think so, that's why we did it for so many years. And as much as I love homeschooling, and I'm missing it, there is also a relief in knowing that those formal homeschooling years are behind us now. There is a freedom that is exciting yet restful, but at the same time, as the home nest empties, I find myself worrying more about each of my sons—much more than I ever used to. 

The anxiety level has risen and I pray a lot these days.

 Hey, I used to be in charge! Me—the Momma Bear, and I had a pretty good eye on my cubs at almost every minute of the day. I no longer have that option, and let me tell you (or maybe I don't have to) it's HARD sometimes! That's where faith comes in and trust in God to keep them close to Him and help them (and me) through the rough spots.

I'm thankful for each of my sons and the ups and downs and the good and bad and all that we have shared over the years and I look toward the moments in the future where we'll link our hearts and minds together just like in the old days. And I hope they each have memories—of who I was—my character—and if it was good—that some has rubbed off—and most of what is remembered, will be worth remembering.

I don't know where you are in your homeschool walk of faith. Amid any struggles, I hope you are leaving good memories behind you.

 

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
    for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
    for to you I entrust my life." 

                                                       —Psalm 143:8 NIV
 
 Thanks for visiting me here today! Make each day count as the blessing it is!
—Kathy

Encouragement for the Beginning Reader: Splish the Frog

Meet us in Bliss Hollow where your child can escape for a visit with Splish the frog, his endearing family and homeschooling animal friends. Mama Frog shares her son's frustrations with wisdom and reassurance as she patiently guides Splish along a pathway of understanding and character building with a delightful, heartwarming story, where he finally learns that Mama was right-everyone learns and grows at his own pace—it takes time.

Any beginning reader or struggling-to-read child will relate to Splish, with all of his discouragements, frustrations, trial-and-errors and not trusting Mama that some day he will read.

One of a mother’s treasured gifts to her child—

helping him learn to read.

Learning to read is one of the most important parts of your young child’s home education. He has cuddled up on your lap and heard you read such lively stories to him over and over again. Together, you experience the world of imagination, information and exploration of God’s creation, through living books.

The late reading child wants so badly to decipher those magic, elusive letters on the page, and feels frustrated and discouraged because so many his age and younger can read and he can’t (often within the family). Many parents are tripping through this stressful situation looking for that hopeful day when everything will click. Be assured, it usually will—when they are ready. It is important to remember that they are all on a unique schedule when it comes to reading: God’s schedule.

Where was this book when my two middle boys were learning to read and on a very late schedule? It could have helped make an easier transition for them, that when they were ready it would happen. Of course they heard that from me, but this charming soft cover book encourages so sweetly. I think there are a lot of discouraged, late-reading kids out there that would love to hear this story.

And Then Mama Said . . .it Takes TIme to Learn to Read by Gena Suarez, is a brand new book available from The Old Schoolhouse Store. It comes with a free companion activity book too.

Curiosita

"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things." ~ Leonardo Da Vinci

From the category of famous people, the young man I am tutoring chose to compile a notebook on Leonardo Da Vinci . Good choice! We've studied him before, but can you ever stop studying Leonardo? I had never heard of Leonardo's horse ordeal until recent weeks. How did I miss that before? The Creative Thinker of All Time boasts of amazing accomplishments. He was an artist, architect, sculptor, inventor, engineer, and scientist. He was also an entertainer, musician, production designer and manager, writer, naturalist, scholar and philosopher. Has his understanding of the world opened doors of knowledge for us? From his exemplary life, we can see that Leonardo surely went out and happened to things!

Curiosita - An insatiably curious approach to life and an unrelenting quest for continuous learning, is the first of the seven Da Vincian Principles expounded upon in the book How to Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci by Michael J. Gelb. As a mother, I can visualize the natural curiosity and desires of my little boys to explore, taste and experience the fascinating world around them, and as a homeschooling mom, I'd never want to see this innate lust for learning end.

I have been researching Leonardo in my own curiosity quest. I've always liked to draw and I admire beautiful paintings and the artistic talents of others. I am a fan of museums and have seen many famous paintings in my lifetime. I'd like to think like Leonardo, and learn seven steps to genius every day as the title suggests (I'd like to try writing backwards, though I'll leave out dissecting bodies, thank you).

Mr. Gelb believes that our learning power can improve with age (I'd like to believe that). Couldn't I use this knowledge to pattern our own education? I wonder how far we are from Leonardo's methods? The Curiosita Self-Assessment checklist the book provides claims that your answers tell how well you are already using it and where to improve. Here's the list:

• I keep a journal or notebook to record my insights and questions.
• I take adequate time for contemplation and reflection.
• I am always learning something new.
• When I am faced with and important decision, I actively seek out different perspectives.
• I am a voracious reader.
• I learn from little children.
• I am skilled at identifying and solving problems.
• My friends would describe me as open-minded and curious.
• When I hear or read a new word or phrase, I look it up and make a note of it.
• I know a lot about other cultures and am always learning more.
• I know or am involved in learning a language other than my native one.
• I solicit feedback from my friends, relations, and colleagues.
• I love learning.

I can check yes by a number of these, but also would need much discipline in others. In light of the above and what I know about Leonardo, I see a correlation with Charlotte Mason's educational philosophy. Ms. Mason wrote "Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life," and the CM school motto is "I Am, I Can, I Ought, I Will." She also said: "We trust much to good books - Once more, we know that there is a storehouse of thought wherein we may find all the great ideas that have moved the world." She encouraged keeping journals from an early age and the study of languages. Children were to be free in their play, letting them use their imaginations and providing time for their many self motivated projects, but parents were always present guiding lights. History (chronologically) and nature study were emphasized. Both Charlotte and Leonardo were advocates of virtue, including truth and beauty. Relating more specifically to children and curiosita Charlotte shares this:

"The idea that vivifies teaching. . . is that 'Education is a Science of Relations; by which phrase we mean that children come into the world with a natural [appetite] for, and affinity with, all the material of knowledge; for interest in the heroic past and in the age of myths; for a desire to know about everything that moves and lives; about strange places and strange peoples; for a wish to handle material and to make; a desire to run and ride and row and do whatever the law of gravitation permits. Therefore. . . we endeavor that he shall have relations of pleasure and intimacy established with as many possible of the interests proper to him; not learning a slight or incomplete smattering about this or that subject, but plunging into vital knowledge, with a great field before him which in all his life he will not be able to explore. In this conception we get that 'touch of emotion' which vivifies knowledge, for it is probably that we feel only as we are brought into our proper vital relations." ~ Charlotte Mason

Wow! Doesn't that sum it up? Curiosita is just the first of the Da Vincian Principles and is demonstrated by a continuous quest for learning . In that chapter the author lists a number of exercises one can do to improve your skills and apply this concept. He asks the question "What would you learn if you could learn anything at all?" Most of the people he asks answer with things that express an ideal or dream hobby, something they always wanted to do but never did, and I'm thinking to myself, I have a lot of those. Some I have touched on in the past but just failed to continue to make time for them. Mr. Gelb finds that people who pursue those hobbies passionately live richer, more fulfilling lives. And Charlotte Mason would agree. There are many hobby-like activities I'd love to pursue further, and I'd like for the boys to find new ways to enjoy life too. As a people, we have all kinds of excuses for not doing those things (I'm guilty), but as Leonardo would answer, "You can have no dominion greater or less than that over yourself." It's never too late!

Some other insights I found in these interesting exercises included the free writing technique that we have been employing at home (I've mentioned this in an earlier post). He calls it stream of consciousness writing but it's the same thing, where you write continuously, always keeping your pen moving, paying no attention to grammar or spelling etc. I liked this metaphor of the poet's motto: "Write drunk, revise sober." I'll have to remember it.

Leonardo kept a notebook with him wherever he went. I bought a nice leather journal for that purpose in the last few years, and though I did that for several months, I didn't continue to lug it around, but wrote in it at home. He used his notebooks (seven thousand pages still exist but authorities estimate it was twice as many) without organization, mixing all kinds of thoughts, letters, doodles and drawings, new vocabulary, plans, scientific treatises, questions and even copy work!

The Great Problem Solver was a man who asked many questions. He felt this was much more important than giving right answers. Quite the opposite of today's educational institutions. Finding and asking the right questions will lead you to the solutions. I think I need to re-emphasize this approach to our learning at home.

Leonardo taught himself Latin at age 42. Babies learn languages easily, but at any age this is a fun hobby and you can actually learn faster than a baby. We've dabbled in German in past years when one son had an interest and recently Jeremiah developed an interest in French. I picked up a freebie - a set of learning cassettes that we still have to delve into. I love language; the etymology of our own English leaves much to discover. Leonardo defined over nine thousand words in his journals.

Charlotte Mason had much to say about developing good habits. Leonardo was keen on observational and emotional intelligence, studying people and their habits, much as he also studied nature and animals. He majored in getting along with others! A required book for graduating in our homeschool is the favorite classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

I'm only in the beginning chapters of How to Think Like Leonardo but let me share briefly, the remaining seven principles:

Dimostrazione - A commitment to test knowledge through experience, persistence, and a willingness to learn from mistakes. Sensazione - The continual refinement of the senses, especially sight, as the means to enliven experience. Sfumato - A willingness to embrace ambiguity, paradox, and uncertainty. Arte/Scienza - The devepment of the balance between science and art, logic and imagination. "Whole-brain" thinking. Corporalita - The cultivation of grace, ambidexterity, fitness, and poise. Connessione - A recognition of and appreciation for the interconnectedness of all things and phenomena. Systems thinking.

I'm looking forward to learning more from Master Da Vinci in these next chapters and modeling the Da Vinci lifestyle and information I am learning to my boys, applying more to our home schooling. To start, I have a nature watercolor painting and colored pencil drawing I could complete and possibly submit to the Boone County Fair this week. I'm also going to get out those French tapes. Having had Charlotte Mason as a mentor gently leads the way. Au revoir, or as Leonardo would say buona notte.

Featured Drawings: Leonardo's Christ Figure 1490 and Study of a Womb 1489 from his journals

A Job Well Done

"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might." -Ecclesiastes

The packed auditorium was buzzing with excitement as we sat among a few scattered parents and dozens of children of all sizes and ages. It was Jeremiah's turn to audition for his first full length play, Seussical the Musical. He had been given a page of script in which he had just a few minutes to review and then gave a "cold" reading. Pretty good.

We waited some more. Time to sing. Wait a minute, can Jeremiah sing? His chosen song was the humorous parody Cats in the Kettle sung to the tune of Cats in the Cradle as written by Weird Al (If you've never heard it, look it up on the web). The audience was tickled with his antics and his voice, and I think that's what won him the part of The Grinch. He also played a double role as the eagle.

Though on stage for most of the production, his speaking (and solo singing) parts were relatively small. He went to almost all of the practice days of which there were too many, often having to wait long periods for his turn to come up. He really gave his all to each of four performances.

Well the play has been long over for months now, but several lasting friendships resulted, and so many good things have transpired as part of that experience. (A dream of mine was for the boys to be able to participate in the realm of drama or perhaps speech in some way.)

A few weeks ago Jeremiah got notice in the mail that he was nominated for an award and to please come to the awards ceremony which was last Saturday night. We went not expecting anything but a good time, but we were pleasantly surprised. The very first award given was for "Outstanding Performance By a Supporting Actor in Children's Literature" (of which all nominations were from Seussical) and Jeremiah won! He went up on stage and received his award and said his thank-you.

This unexpected delight was recognition of a job well done that somebody(s) had noticed. It amazed us to think of the large cast of characters in the play and that he was chosen. A speaker for the Arts Council summed it up this way: "Their role may or may not have been a big one, but their performance was such that when you walked out the theater door, their character made a definite impact on you."

Congratulations again to Jeremiah for a job well done!

Our Family's Favorites & Worthwhile Reading List

The following list of books include some of our all time favorites and inspirational treats (in no particular order). Many have been delightful read-alouds, especially those at the top children's section. There are some genres I'm not including like much adult fiction and very young children's books, poetry, political or historical, though they'd have a place in my favorites also, and I'm sure I've left out a few that should have been included here. These are mainly from the gist of our normal life's reading. If you want to explore new horizons or have a life changing experience, check these out!


Children/Teens:

• Heidi by Johanna Spyri
• Little Britches, Father and I Were Ranchers by Ralph Moody (and others in the series)
• Sir Gibbie by George MacDonald
• A Hive of Busy Bees by Effie M. WIlliams
  
• Treasures of the Snow by Patricia St. James
• Mama's Bank Account by Kathryn Forbes
• Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher
• James Herriot's Treasury for Children by James Herriot
  
• Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank B. Gilbreth and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey
• Charlotte's Web by E. B. White
• The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi
• The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum
• Little Women by by Louisa May Alcott (also Little Men)
• The Swiss Family Robinson by Johann D. Wyss
• Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
• Far North by Will Hobbs
• Lost on a Mountain in Maine by Joseph Egan
• Pagoo by Holling C. Holling
  
• Minn of the Mississippi by Holling C. Holling
• Benjamin West and his cat Grimalkin by Marguerite Henry
  
• Leonardo Da Vinci (Childhood of World Figures) by George E. Stanley
• Painting America's Wildlife: John James Audubon by Janet Stevenson
• Seeing Fingers - the story of Louis Braille byEtta DeGering
  
• Little House in the Big Woods (and others in the series) by Laura Ingalls Wilder
• Caddie Woodlawn by Carol Brink
• Missionary Stories for Children
• Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls
• Nothing is Impossible: the Story of Beatrix Potter by Dorothy Aldis
  
• So Dear to My Heart by Sterling North
• Rascal by Sterling North
• Young Thomas Edison by Sterling North
• Holes by Louis Sachar
• The Giver by Lois Lowry
• The Saturdays (and others) by Elizabeth Enright
• The Merry Adventure's of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle
• The Great Fire by Jim Murphy
• An American Plague by Jim Murphy
• Carry On, Mr. Bowditch by Jean Lee Latham
• The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Spear
• Hank the Cowdog (and many in the series) by John R. Erickson
• The Chronicles of Narnia (series) by C. S. Lewis
• Cricket in Times Square by George Selden
• There's an Owl in the Shower by Jean Craighead George
• My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
• Door in the Wall by Marguerite de Angeli
• Homesick by Jean Fritz (and her many historical fiction biographies for children)
• The Great Brain by John D.l Fitzgerald (more in the series)
• The Borrowers by Mary Norton
• Golden Goblet by Eloise Jarvis McGraw
• The Ransom of Red Chief and other stories by O. Henry
• Adam of the Road by Elizabeth Gray
• Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes
• Watership Down by Richard Adams
• Pollyanna by Eleanor Porter
• Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
• Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
• The Wheel on the School by Meindert Dejong
• Wolves of Willoughby Chase by Joan Aiken
• Hound of the Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
• All Creatures Great and Small and others by James Herriot
• One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich and others by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
• The Strange Lives of Familiar Insects by Edwin Way Teale
• Tesla: Man Out of Time by Margaret Cheney
• Scottish Chiefs by Jane Porter
• The Librarian Who Measured the Earth by Kathryn Lasky
• Archimedes & the Door of Science by Jeanne Bendick
• Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin
• Augustus Caesar's World by Genevieve Foster
• The World of William Penn by Genevieve Foster
• Material World by Peter Menzel (photographic journal)
• Honey For a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt

Women's Interest:

• The Story of My Life by Helen Keller
• Mrs. Mike by Benedict and Nancy Freedman
• Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
• The Small Woman: The True Story of Gladys Aylward of China by Alan Burgess
  
• Honey For a Woman's Heart by Gladys Hunt
• I'm Going to be the Greatest Mom Ever by Terri Camp
• Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin
• Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl
• How to Become Your Husband's Best Friend by Gary Smalley
• Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow
• The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman by Nancy Wilson
• Praise Her in the Gates: the Calling of Christian Motherhood by Nancy Wilson
• Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus
• Seasons of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson
• Tilly by Frank E. Peretti
• Pro-Life Christians by Joe Gulotta

Educational:

• Ignite the Fire by Terri Camp
• The Holy Bible
• A Child's History of the World (also Art & Geography) by V. M. Hillyer
• The Way They Learn by Cynthia Tobias
• Teach Your Own by John Holt
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• The Law by Frederick Bastiat
• Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson
• The Well-Educated Mind by Susan Wise Bauer
• Literature Alive! by Cay A. Gibson
• The Moral Compass by William J. Bennett
• Letters to Jessica by Robert Bissett
  
• Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Marriage/Family Helps:

• Jumping Ship by Michael Pearl
• Grace Walk by Steve McVey
• Shattered Dreams: God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy by Larry Crabb
• The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb
• Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul by John Eldredge
• Sheet Music by Kevin Leman
• Love is a Decision by Gary Smalley & John Trent
• The Blessing by Gary Smalley & John Trent
• His Needs, Her Needs - How to Build an Affair Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley Jr.
• The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger
  
• Marriage Fitness by Mort Fertel

Health, Nutrition, Cooking:

• Inflammation Nation by Floyd H. Chilton
• What the Bible Says About Healthy Living by Rex Russell
• Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon
  
• God & Vitamins by Marjorie Holmes
• The Hallelujah Diet by George Malkmus

I love to get recommendations and always have a "to read" list going. Please share your favorites with us too!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What I'm Reading

I don't usually read much fiction for myself. The last book of fiction I read was the huge Echo in the Darkness by Francine Rivers, which was recommended to me. I mostly read it when it comes highly recommended which is what interested me in the book Honey for a Woman's Heart. I gave "Honey..." also to my mom as a gift and she has dissected it and is finding all sorts of great treasures as a result which we discuss together.

I still like to read kid's picture books. This week at the library I found Leonardo's Horse by a favorite children's author, Jean Fritz. I have a collection of hers but didn't even know about this particular book. Now I need to buy one for my own. I have read much fiction, especially historical fiction with the boys over so many years of homeschooling (my favorite activity!) but I tend to love what is true the most and that is what excites me - real stories of real heroes in real life!!

There's a slew of interesting books all beckoning me at once. Let's see what I am reading at this scene in my life...

• Honey For a Woman's Heart by Gladys Hunt
• Living Peacefully in a Stressful World by Ron Hutchcraft
• The Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn
• The Bible Cure for Weight Loss & Muscle Gain by Don Colbert, M.D. (rereading)
• The Writer's Jungle by Julie Bogart
• Families Writing by Peter R. Stillman
• Home by Choice by Brenda Hunter, Ph.D.
• Caring Enough to Forgive; Caring Enough to Not Forgive by David Augsburger
• Write Upon My Heart : Cheerfulness by Keepers of the Faith Publishing
• The Raw Food Gourmet by Gabrielle Chavez
• Your Right to be Beautiful-the Miracle of Raw Foods by Tonya Zavasta (a bit at a time)
  
• Juices & Smoothies by Suzannah; Farrow, Joanna Olivier

With the Boys:

• It's a Jungle Out There! by Ron Snell
• Created for WORK - Practical Insights for Young Men by Bob Schultz
• Fearfully & Wonderfully Made - a Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body by Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey