Motivating Boys to Do School

I responded to an e-newsletter about this subject when a frustrated mom said her boys "do not want to do their schoolwork, and it is a battle come school time." Her slightly older daughter was a different story. I thought I would share my perspective here:

I've been a homeschooling mom of four sons for the past 17+ years and I think I've learned some valuable lessons. I know that this is not necessarily a "boy" problem, though it may be more prevalent since boys tend to mature slower than girls. Some personality types adore all the paper work and attention to details while some students (especially some boys) just aren't impressed. All children however should have a natural curiosity and be excited about learning which can be expressed in a number of ways—other than writing or filling in workbooks etc. If you use a "canned" curriculum that is meant for a classroom of kids, there is no way that you will be teaching to your individual child's strengths, interests or abilities.

We approached school as an enjoyable learning time and "lifestyle" together—very flexible. My desire to learn along with my sons meant that I was always very involved. I made time to do more fun things together, tap into their interests, utilize more oral (rather than written) expressions of learning in the earlier years, along with many hands-on activities. We always read aloud and discussed many great books together. Unit studies worked very well for us. I had two very late readers who eventually caught up. I had a gifted son who needed very little from me, as well as two sons with delayed abilities which meant doing math together for many years, lots of spelling games, and utilizing hands-on learning. My advice is to tune into your children's needs and wants.

How do you get them to care and become self motivated? You have to spark their interest. They have to see a relevancy in what you are making them do. Here are some ideas: Find more practical and interesting writing assignments—a letter to Grandpa, a friend or the President! Keep notes about observations for a science project; design a game and write the activity cards for it; create true/false questions about a subject you are learning and test Dad and your friends; dramatize a story; let them dictate a story or poem to you and make it into a real book to be shared; write a review on a book they liked for a kid's magazine or Amazon.com; make a recording of a story complete with sound effects; enjoy scrapbooking as a family writing captions for photos or each member can tell their side of the picture story presented. Project oriented ideas can be wonderful motivators adding a fun element. (see my list of many more ideas in a previous posting)

Help children to take pride in their work. Offer encouragement and praise for each little success they show. Take it one step at a time. It may be that your expectations are too high. Help them form good new habits and enjoy expressing their ideas. Learn to enjoy your boys and their unique perspective on life and don't be afraid to ask them what they'd like to learn and follow up on it. Pray, pray and keep on praying for God to guide you in this awesome journey of living and learning with your precious children.

Photo Credit: Benjamin takes a different look at Jeremiah who is reading a creative story he wrote to a class of other homeschoolers.

Missing Gideon . . .

Here are Jeremiah 14, Benjamin 17, Gideon (almost) 21 and Josiah 23

Oct. '09: Our second oldest flew the coop.

I always knew the day would come, and that it wasn't going to be that easy to "let go". I really feel the void these last weeks of Gideon's absence. But, it's a wonderful thing to have independence and be responsible and fend for yourself.

I did so too, the minute I turned 18—not that my family life was bad or anything—I just had the most pressing urge to "be my own boss," and after awhile I found out just how difficult it can be—though I learned a whole lot through that experience.

Gideon is a bit older than I was and a whole lot wiser (I do believe) with so much more going for him, and he'll do very well. The pic above was taken on our first visit to his new apartment. We had such a fun day visiting and anticipate many more such fun days to come. My prayers for him are many as with all the boys. I'll survive—but I need a bit more time to adjust.

Thanksgiving/Christmas Holiday Freebie!

TOS Digital Holiday Supplement
This is one resource you won't want to miss! The Old Schoolhouse Magazine has an outstanding E-Magazine full of holiday delights—activities, inspiration, gift ideas, traditions, recipes—some wonderful ideas to start your planning in the right direction. Enjoy!

A Brand New Homeschooling Year!

I'm finding out that when you have a side job that consists of a lot of writing, you don't have much time to write the things you really want to write about—I miss that part of my life!

I haven't written here in so long I feel the urge to just put down a little something so here goes:

Anyway, we've started a brand new school year here, with the last two boys in homeschool high school. I love the beginning of the year and the goal planning stage. The boys have written their goals and I've been working on mine and things are going well. I REALLY want to encourage as much independence as possible with our studies and assist the boys in meeting their goals. I'm open to "What do you want to study for history or science?" as well as "What are your personal goals?

One of Jeremiah's goals is learning how to speak, read and write French. He got interested in this over the summer when he met some French speaking Canadians. I'm thrilled!

I'm utilizing some DVDs this year and we're enjoying one called "How to Be a Super Star Student". Sounds kind of corny, I know, but there's some good stuff in it—and stuff to make you think seriously about study habits and your future. Math DVDs and Language/Composition are on the agenda as well. Standard Deviants has some fun stuff—and you know—we're learning too! Have you guessed I have an auditory learner? I should have been using more DVDs and audios all along!

I look forward to the coming year in a big way. I'm filled with expectations as I always am, but each year that I get closer to the idea of the empty nest, I just want to cherish the days as long as they are there. Sometimes I reminisce about the olden homeschooling years but they are gone. It's a different homeschooling scene here now. But you know, it's just as good!

I hope you have some worthy goals lined up for yourself and family and enjoy the year to the fullest!

Letting Go

I came across this one day after I had a wonderful conversation with a close friend about some of these very things. I just had to share it here:

Letting Go

author unknown

To Let Go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To Let Go is not to cut myself off,
it is the realization I can't control another.

To Let Go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To Let Go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To Let Go is not to try to change or blame another,
it is to make the most of myself.

To Let Go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To Let Go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To Let Go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To Let Go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To Let Go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To Let Go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To Let Go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To Let Go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To Let Go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To Let Go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To Let Go is to fear less,
and love more.

Getting Hooked on E-Books, Highschool & More

One of the perks with my job at the Old Schoolhouse Magazine is getting to read a lot of the new E-Books that they are producing- most all homeschool related of course.

I am so a lover of hard copy books, but hey, I'm getting used to sitting at the computer and doing some reading there and then a little work too. I've read some fantastic and motivating E-Books in the past two months: Living on One Income-How 12 Families Make it Work; HomeWork (homeschooling and home business); What About Socialization?; Molly's Money-Saving Digest; Turning Points in Homeschooling (I absolutely LOVED this one!); and Creative Nature Study to name a few. All are recommended, by the way, and available now or in the future through the Schoolhouse Store. Perhaps I'm getting hooked on E-Books! I didn't think that was possible.

I enjoyed reading about remarkable families from all walks and backgrounds making homeschooling a success and loving it, with God's guidance through many ups and downs. I'm just really amazed and uplifted and motivated and blessed to be homeschooling and interacting with my family the way we do. I'm also re-evaluating where we're headed in our journey.

I'm going to be project managing a new E-Book (what an opportunity!) on College Prep for Homeschoolers too, so my mind is focusing also, on my own highschooler (though two have since graduated) and my soon to be highschooler, and the path we are taking. Exciting times for sure, when everything you've done and said and tried to do will be put to the test as you watch your children venture out into the scary and awesome world of independence and great responsibility. I think we've done a good job, and I sometimes think of the what ifs, but I can't go back and change anything, and I don't really think I want to. Life's a dance, you learn as you go (hey, I think that's a song!) and anyway we've sure learned a lot and had a bunch of fun on our journey and it's not over yet! So many good things have transpired, but our relationships with each other and with God are still the main priorities.

I was talking with my son, Gideon, 20, today, and you know he just really inspired me and made my heart leap and jump. I am so proud of him, to see the transformation that God has done in him, in the last few years. I can say at one time I was worried about him and his attitude, but miracles happen. If you take a good look at yourself and don't like what you see, make a change. Do something! Make those little steps and more steps and more until they lead to progress and marked change. Anyway, Gideon is like the motivational speaker, pep talk rally coach kind of guy now and inspires everyone around him. I know he'll do great in life. The right attitude goes a longgggggg way!

Well my original thought was that hey, we did great in homeschool highschool because he knows how to learn whatever he wants or needs to, he has a love of learning, he has the skills necessary to learn and do well, and a heart for God and what is good and right. How much more do you really need?

With God's continual hand of guidance on our lives we can't go wrong. It's just amazing when you can simply TRUST God to continue what you have started and KNOW that even though it's not all smooth sailing, there's a good outcome. He's teaching us all manner of worthwhile stuff on this journey.

I love homeschooling! Oh, and I love books, and E-Books too!