From Expectation to Miscarriage - Free E-Book

From Expectation to Miscarriage—True Stories of Faith, Hope and Healing

"One moment you are rejoicing at the news that you are expecting a baby—all of a sudden your joy turns to sorrow when you learn that you are going through a miscarriage.

You feel scared, alone, and devastated. You wonder if there is hope after miscarriage."

I have a personal story that I share in this free E-Book compiled by many authors who share a similar yet different journey through miscarriage.

Having children was always in our plan. Several years of barrenness was not. Our first two pregnancies resulting in miscarriage within a year of each other left me devastated. The only one I could turn to was God.

If you've found yourself alone in a world where the heartbreak of miscarriage consumes you, like I did, it may help to talk to others that have felt your pain and walked in similar sandles. 

Of course no one has the same exact story, but many have found a semblance of healing by searching the facts and discovering the grace of God through faith and hope and the love of family and compassionate friends. 

If miscarriage is not part of your story, but you know of someone whose it is, this is a great resource to pass on to them.

You can read my miracle story along with the other heartfelt stories of precious Moms who have left tiny angels in heaven through miscarriage by clicking on this link:
From Expectation to Miscarriage—True Stories of Faith, Hope and Healing

May this E-Book treasure be a blessing to you and others. 

Thanks to Dollie at Teacher's of Good Things for producing this valuable resource.

Trusting—Then, and Now

It used to be easy—trusting God. 

When the boys were young, they were hardly ever out of my sight—and for good reason. I was the ever watchful Momma Bear, and frankly, since no close family were around when the boys grew up, I just didn't trust anyone else to care for my boys.

It was so natural to homeschool them. And of course, I was delighted in that I didn't have to send them off to be taught by strangers. Wasn't it important, who I entrusted to teach my child? 

As a young girl, I used to play school all the time with my sister who was four years younger than me. I fashioned worksheets for her and loved teaching her what I knew. In high school I really wanted to study art and possibly teach it. But art teachers were not getting many jobs at that time, and well, I went on to study nursing which was high in demand. I would have never guessed that one day I'd become a teacher of language, science, history and (gulp) algebra! And yeah, I got to teach art too. All through the years I've truly felt that guiding my boys through homeschooling was my true calling, and my greatest joy.

  God is so good.

But as some of you know, 2012 was the last year for us homeschooling in the traditional sense, though these last several years seem nothing at all traditional to me. The boys grew up, and guess what? They had minds of their own. They asked even more questions than when they were small. They weren't always patient with me! They became very determined and independent minded—a good thing, right? Plus, I could no longer follow them around everywhere to keep an eye on them. The time I spent instilling character in the younger years was over. Their outcome surfaced. The guilt crept in.

Did I do okay?

While I'm very proud of my sons, and we did some very creative projects, learned a lot—even independently, and had a love for learning and a heart for God, at times I am overwhelmed, especially when I am confronted with worldly things, and those sinister mindsets that lurk out there.

Not only do I have to trust God to guide my sons and keep them in His care; I have to trust myself, that I did the best I could, and simply let go. But now, I  think of many things I should have spent more time on. I wish I'd done a few things better. I wish I'd known some things earlier on. I wish I hadn't been so darn lazy sometimes.

 My faith reminds me that whatever the circumstances, the One who knows ALL is in charge. He's got my back. He loves us even more than I love my own family (hard to even comprehend). He's been there for us more times than I can count. In times of stress and doubt, I can trust that what happens in life is meant to be for a purpose, and I can look for the learning moments in each one. Then, I can use those lessons of life, make them part of who I am, and use them to benefit others.

Just a few weeks ago, I came the closest to death I had ever been. Though it was a scary experience, and I did not want to leave my family this soon, I was ready to go meet my Maker. Feeling scared and peaceful sound like opposites, but that's how I felt at the same time. I remember thinking, "Mom, I'll be with you soon." But I was ambivalent to actually go, and thankfully, the hospital ER probably saved my life. (Atrial Fibrillation, in case anyone wants to know.)

Each day is a gift from my Creator.  

I have so much to be thankful for! How cool it is, that I just found out that I won a copy of Mary DeMuth's book "Everything: What You Give and What You Gain to Become Like Jesus." I look forward to reading it, and I imagine I'll come away with much needed inspiration, something we all need. 

Resting in Him. Relying on Him. Thanking Him. Loving Him. Counting my blessings and trusting Him today and everyday. 

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

—Romans 15:13

Homeschool Struggles—What Will They Remember?

My article From Barking to Fluency, Helping you Focus While Your Struggling Reader Figures It Out just came out in the new FREE October digital issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine. In it I share a bit of our personal story with a few of my reflections regarding our reading struggles along with some reassurance that you might find helpful, some of which I learned in retrospect. If you have unanswered questions in this area, or are seeking help or guidance, I urge you to read my article and the many other inspiring articles in this issue.

No one wants their child to  hurt or suffer. It's tough to see your children struggle, and seeing them distressed and frustrated with learning (to any degree) can test your patience. And your emotions. Often, we lack understanding.

I think Jim Hensen had it right: 

 “[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. 

They remember what you are.”  

Or who you are. 

Regardless of my child's particular need or situation, I have to ask myself: How did I present lessons? What were my priorities? How did I react? Did I show respect to them and others? Did I encourage? Was I truthful? Loving?

What will they remember? 

• Yelling? 
• Crying? 
• Laughing 'til their guts hurt? 
• Letting them have a say? 
• Disagreeing with them?
• Thanking God? 
• Joking around?
• Eating late dinners?
• Unjust punishment?
• Losing my cool?
• Apologies?
• Trying alternatives until something works?
• Smiles and praises for a job well done?
• Ignoring them?
• Spending too much time on the computer?
• Explaining things to them?
• Making nourishing meals and yummy snacks?
• Pushing too hard? 
• Standing up for them?
• Rejoicing and praying with them?

I don't know exactly . . .

They still speak to me, and sometimes want to be around me, and give me hugs. I think they know that my heart has always been in the right place, and though we've had our moments, love shines through and it lasts. 

We all make mistakes and hopefully learn something constructive along the way. Sometimes I've pondered . . .

Has homeschooling been the best thing for us?  

My husband and I think so, that's why we did it for so many years. And as much as I love homeschooling, and I'm missing it, there is also a relief in knowing that those formal homeschooling years are behind us now. There is a freedom that is exciting yet restful, but at the same time, as the home nest empties, I find myself worrying more about each of my sons—much more than I ever used to. 

The anxiety level has risen and I pray a lot these days.

 Hey, I used to be in charge! Me—the Momma Bear, and I had a pretty good eye on my cubs at almost every minute of the day. I no longer have that option, and let me tell you (or maybe I don't have to) it's HARD sometimes! That's where faith comes in and trust in God to keep them close to Him and help them (and me) through the rough spots.

I'm thankful for each of my sons and the ups and downs and the good and bad and all that we have shared over the years and I look toward the moments in the future where we'll link our hearts and minds together just like in the old days. And I hope they each have memories—of who I was—my character—and if it was good—that some has rubbed off—and most of what is remembered, will be worth remembering.

I don't know where you are in your homeschool walk of faith. Amid any struggles, I hope you are leaving good memories behind you.

 

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
    for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
    for to you I entrust my life." 

                                                       —Psalm 143:8 NIV
 
 Thanks for visiting me here today! Make each day count as the blessing it is!
—Kathy

Polishing the Armor

A few days ago we sat in our living room along with all four of our sons (a rare occasion these days) and after Gideon's spiel and demonstration with Sheen Genie, a new metal polishing product that he sells at car events, we had a wonderful party, shining up all the metal items we could find. Keys, coins, jewelry, lamp bases, car parts and wheels, ammunition rounds, photo frames, you name it! So many things had sat in an ugly, dirt-smudged, and sometimes rusted state for years because no one thought about or cared to keep them polished and clean.

I could say the same about many things in my life that I have ignored or considered unworthy of my attention. I have a supernatural ability to make things invisible, like closet clutter and cobwebs, dust, and miniscule corner-dwelling creatures. A sad fact is that our relationships fall in this category too!



Rust damage is permanent, and if severe, the object may not be repairable. That's why it's important to protect it from rust in the first place. Rust eats away at the original and creates varying rough spots along the edges. A controlled grinding (or polishing) smooths out the rough surface and restores the shine.

Some important lessons are learned the hard way, and thankfully, our rusty marriage has been on the mend for about eight years now. My husband credits me with helping him remove the rust and restoring his reflective shine. In fact, I'm starting to glow more too. 

If you are homeschooling, you know that your marriage is one important cornerstone of keeping it all together. All marriages and all partners are different and I don't expect everyone to relate 100% to this, but perhaps there are a few universal points here that will get your attention. Following, is my list for preventative maintenance.

 10 Ways to Keep His Armor Shining

1. Remove the rust.  

I woke up suddenly one day to find myself in a rusty relationship. How did this happen? Where had I been? What was I doing? First I cried. Then I prayed. Then we talked. I had a decision to make: Start polishing!

 

2. Admire him. 

This is a biggie for my husband and I hadn't realized it. He's bound to fall off a pedestal, so don't go that far. Remember that he is human and not perfect. Respect him, and admire all those wonderful things about him—the ones that made you fall in love with him in the first place—and all of those that came with time and wisdom since. For me, it required an attitude change of the heart. During one of our most difficult years I made a conscious effort and made him an "Admiration Award." He loved it, and it hangs on our bedroom wall as a reminder to us both.

3. Know his needs/desires.  

And act on them. This includes speaking his love language. We took a survey once from the book His Needs, Her Needs, to find that, out of a list of ten needs, his top five needs coincided with my bottom five needs, and my top five needs were the same as his bottom five needs. Our priority needs were the exact opposites! I wasn't surprised though, I knew that we were opposites and it was one of the those things that attracted us to one another in the first place, so very long ago. You can't be proficient with knowing his desires and doing them though, unless you have practice with #4 . . .

4. Communicate effectively. 

I can't believe how many years we went without talking about important issues that affected our marriage. We let a major storm slam us into the floor before we woke out of our dazzled state and did something constructive like reading and discussing books together. Once we stepped out of our comfort zone the light began to shine on those hazy areas. A little counseling didn't hurt either. Don't belittle him or his judgement. Don't talk to him like one of the children. Check your attitude.

5. Hold him accountable.

Finances. The Internet. Don't ignore pertinent issues or assume that all is well when you really don't know. Work as a team to meet set goals and jointly keep each other in the loop. For years, my husband didn't want to burden me with financial issues so he handled them alone. I didn't question him, but it was not a wise decision. Down the road this led to problems that need not have been. A preacher once told my husband that he would not have the Internet in his home—because he would not want the temptation there. Christians are human too. Be informed and proactive. You are in this thing together—remember that!

6. Pray for him and with him.

I am a huge proponent of prayer! Praying together will bring you closer. Time and time again, our Father Above has been there for us, intervened, and sustained us through the difficult and the blessed! Prayer is not just for meals, it is for every occasion.

7. Enjoy his company.

Find things to do together. Laugh. Share hobbies. Smile. This has become easier since our sons are all grown. One of our problems years ago was that we hardly ever used babysitters and we were seldom alone outside of the bedroom. Have a weekly date night. Make time to enjoy his company, just between the two of you.

8. Forgive.

And keep forgiving. This is huge, yet so simple and profound. I have to admit that this was hard for me to do. I had thought that some things were unforgivable. I was a grudge keeper. I'd act like I was OK, but deep down I kept a list, and the list grew and grew and then it got so big that it impeded my vision and my focus and my heart was in torment. It dawned on me one day that forgiveness may be the biggest problem I faced. I started re-reading and studying the words of Jesus, and several outstanding books on the subject and finally came to terms with my unforgiving attitude. I found out that I'm in need of forgiveness too, and that most people really do, do the best they can. If they could do better, they would have. I'm still working on my forgiving attitude and I've come a long way. Mostly, it has helped me more fully trust God and be happier within myself. I have to leave the past in the past, learn from it, and create peace in the present. God forgives us as we forgive others.

9. Coat with kindness.  

You can protect the marriage coat with love and kindness. I cannot change him. I don't have to like everything about my husband. And I don't. I remember reading a long time ago how to think of my husband as having two halves of his face. On the one side are the things I really love and admire. On the other are the things that I don't particularly like or maybe totally dislike. Well, I simply keep my focus on the good half. That's what I've tried to do. Treat him like I would a stranger—and better—he's worth it.

10. Labor with love.

You know the territory . . . love is a decision. An act of your will. In addition to all of the above, I have to mention that you should be his #1 fan and feed him well. No one can feel good, look good or continue to run on empty. Consider his diet and what nourishment you provide. Are you affectionate?  Are you lifting him up or cutting him down? Are you caring for yourself properly?

I'm thankful for the turmoil we went through. Without it, we'd be back in the same sad situation we had been in. Through adversity comes triumph. God can even take something meant for evil and use it for good! It takes time to smooth out the rough spots, but in the end you could have a reflection of near perfection—a glimpse in the mirror of the One that gave you life.

Make it a habit. Every time you come in contact with your treasured man-of-steel, give him a loving wipe-down. If you do this every time, you'll help keep him polished and his armor shining and rust-free.

I'd love to hear your reflections on polishing the armor.

Momma Hugs

This cute little picture put a big smile on my face today. (That's me, on the left.)

How often have I been in a difficult place of mind when something simple changed my focus? A touching incident, or an actual touch.


Out of the blue, my teenage son comes up to me . . . "Can I have a Momma hug?"  or "I haven't had my Momma hug in a while." Then, the best part—he wraps his strong lanky arms around me and squeezes me tight. 

For the brief minute this takes place I am transported to Momma Mountain, that restful place above the clouds where everything is fine and life is at its best. I am loved. I am nestled in God's arms through my son's. I linger there awhile.

I'm overwhelmed 'cause God lovingly chose me to be the Momma to four living wonders—servants of His in a world gone crazy. I realize that we did something right in raising these boys. I'm reminded that they all need hugs too.


Sometimes a hug is all you need. 

Sometimes a hug is all I need.

Letting Go

I came across this one day after I had a wonderful conversation with a close friend about some of these very things. I just had to share it here:

Letting Go

author unknown

To Let Go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To Let Go is not to cut myself off,
it is the realization I can't control another.

To Let Go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To Let Go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To Let Go is not to try to change or blame another,
it is to make the most of myself.

To Let Go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To Let Go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To Let Go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To Let Go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To Let Go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To Let Go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To Let Go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To Let Go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To Let Go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To Let Go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To Let Go is to fear less,
and love more.

The Eruption

I want to share this poem because it has touched me so.

By Jen Abbas, an18-year-old child of divorce:

The Eruption

Divorce is like a trembling earthquake,
The world shakes, rumbling with rage,
And all the anger, guilt, and frustrations
That have been festering for so long
below the surface
Suddenly spew upward in an inferno of hate
or apathy.
At times the earth calms and you think the
turmoil is over,
Settled, stable, but then the cycle begins again,
Repeating, repeating, repeating.
You are weary, you want to rest,
And that is when you realize the shaking has
stopped,
But there is an eerie feeling lurking in the air.
You are hesitant to believe anything anymore,
You are so tired after struggling for so long,
And so you rest on the one solid patch of land,
Only to watch it split in two,
Two separate, distinct parts that will never
come together again.
Each new patch supports part of you,
And as you watch, they pull away.

A Job Well Done

"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might." -Ecclesiastes

The packed auditorium was buzzing with excitement as we sat among a few scattered parents and dozens of children of all sizes and ages. It was Jeremiah's turn to audition for his first full length play, Seussical the Musical. He had been given a page of script in which he had just a few minutes to review and then gave a "cold" reading. Pretty good.

We waited some more. Time to sing. Wait a minute, can Jeremiah sing? His chosen song was the humorous parody Cats in the Kettle sung to the tune of Cats in the Cradle as written by Weird Al (If you've never heard it, look it up on the web). The audience was tickled with his antics and his voice, and I think that's what won him the part of The Grinch. He also played a double role as the eagle.

Though on stage for most of the production, his speaking (and solo singing) parts were relatively small. He went to almost all of the practice days of which there were too many, often having to wait long periods for his turn to come up. He really gave his all to each of four performances.

Well the play has been long over for months now, but several lasting friendships resulted, and so many good things have transpired as part of that experience. (A dream of mine was for the boys to be able to participate in the realm of drama or perhaps speech in some way.)

A few weeks ago Jeremiah got notice in the mail that he was nominated for an award and to please come to the awards ceremony which was last Saturday night. We went not expecting anything but a good time, but we were pleasantly surprised. The very first award given was for "Outstanding Performance By a Supporting Actor in Children's Literature" (of which all nominations were from Seussical) and Jeremiah won! He went up on stage and received his award and said his thank-you.

This unexpected delight was recognition of a job well done that somebody(s) had noticed. It amazed us to think of the large cast of characters in the play and that he was chosen. A speaker for the Arts Council summed it up this way: "Their role may or may not have been a big one, but their performance was such that when you walked out the theater door, their character made a definite impact on you."

Congratulations again to Jeremiah for a job well done!

Taking Risks: Let's not be instant mashed potatoes

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. ~Pablo Picasso

Recently I've been reading several books that have brought up the subject of risk taking. One is about quitting school and getting a real education, and the other is a Brave Writer publication on writing with kids (homeschoolers). I have been pondering this aspect in everything around me.

Take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise. ~Author Unknown

I have tried to eliminate my negative attitude and I often encourage the boys to try new things; if you do nothing, you get nowhere. Yesterday I was telling Gideon, 19, who is enrolled in a special governor's entrepreneur class in college (there's big prize $ for one winning team): "This will be a rewarding learning experience. If you don't succeed in all the ways you want to this time, think of all you will learn in the process and can use for future endeavors. It's ALL a great learning adventure regardless." He knows this. Why risk? It's worth it.

I love to write and it's very therapeutic for me to do so. I like to share my delight of writing with my sons and it's important for me that they express themselves comfortably and skillfully in words. To be proficient at it though, takes courage to step out of your comfort zone and toy with words and expressions, enjoying the process and being unafraid to embrace the unknown and take some risks. I had not quite thought of writing that way before, but it seems true. You simply don't grow (or don't go) anywhere if you don't stretch yourself. Maybe it'll help me in my writing to think of it in this way. I've always enjoyed poetry but my simple attempts at writing it have felt like failures. Maybe I shouldn't give up so easily.

We've been doing some free writing exercises several times a week where you start with a subject and write nonstop for 5 to 10 minutes. You are not allowed to put your pen down. This helps to encourage those thoughts get down on paper regardless of spelling, grammar, or punctuation. What you do with it then is up to you. After many free writes your child could choose one and spiff it up. This week Benjamin wrote about "rutabagas." It seemed a silly topic and as he was writing, it started taking on the appearance of a rhyme. He was letting go and it was funny; a bit bizarre in a Dr. Seuss sort of way. But he took a risk and maybe he'll grow into liking poetry! Jeremiah took my suggestion and started his own blog featuring his superior photography. I'm not touching it with my teacher's pen; it's all his and I adore it!

We are always getting ready to live, but never living. ~Emerson

Grace Llewellyn says many typically schooled people fit the description: "Be all that you can be, according to somebody else." She claims that many hide from the chance to direct their own lives and minds-which is why a lot of them stay in safe jobs they detest all their lives and fantasize about the career risk they will take when the kids are grown, or when they retire. She continues: "Life is scary stuff, but it's real. Don't give in to fear, dance bravely and brightly. Learn to be a human bean and not instant mashed potatoes." I like that. She's a very brave writer!

A ship in harbor is safe - but that is not what ships are for. ~John A. Shedd

I started thinking about this in reference to my life. So many of my early years were spent in someone else's shadow. I was an introvert and shy. Pleasing someone else seemed to be my motto for much of my existence. I did take risks but they were often someone else's idea. Even though they were good things for me to have done and I learned much, they were not MY risks.

The gift of risk lies not in what you achieve, but in who you become by taking them.

Now in my old(ish) age, and with a bit more wisdom (I believe) I am searching for myself. Who am I? Or who could I still be? Have I really lived LIFE the way I was meant to live? I'm not going to ponder that one too much as I can't go back and change anything, but I want to be in charge of who I am today. I have ideas and choices to make and lessons to learn and things to do and see in my quaint, short life. What do I really want to do that I haven't done just yet? If I wanted to make a list I could and probably will in private. Then I'll ask myself, "What is within my reach, and does it matter?" I'd like to expand my mind a bit more, tap into my creative modalities and produce something great (artistic or written?) and certainly nurture my spirit to a new level. Hey, I want to leap small buildings and let those instant mashed potatoes rot!

ScienceDaily (Sep. 19, 2005) —

Tall people are more prepared to take risks than small people, women are more careful than men, and the willingness to take risks markedly decreases with age: these are the findings arrived at by researchers from the Institute for the Study of Labor (IZA), the University of Bonn and the German Institute for Economic Research (DIW) in Berlin. For their study they evaluated more than 20,000 interviews with people from all over Germany and additionally confirmed the findings by experiment. What is particularly striking is that people who enjoy taking risks are more content with their lives.

A Most Precious Gift

Today I am just rejoicing in the goodness of God for his many blessings, which definitely includes my four amazing sons. The honor of having them all at home and being able to teach them by-my-side for all these years is astonishing. Who would have ever thought it possible?

I empathize with women who have infertility problems, as I have experienced a total of four early miscarriages. I wouldn't have had my Jeremiah if I hadn't lost one of those little ones when I did. Since I have four boys (and of course we'd have loved a girl in there somewhere) I often think of the babies we lost as my "girls." Everyone has a story and I want to share mine from my journal of eight years ago:

“Where's ours?” My husband looked at me with those sad eyes. “When will it be our turn?” Friends of ours, with a newborn, had just left our living room. I don't remember what my answer was to these recurring questions, but I felt numb.

When I was growing up, I entertained thoughts of being a mommy. I was one of six children, and it seemed the natural thing to have a household full of children. I often doted on my twin brothers, seven years younger, and played school with my younger sister. The most exciting thing in the world to me, would be to have a child of my own.

Years passed and a wonderful man came into my life and we married. I graduated college, and for our first few years together, I enjoyed my new roles as wife and Registered Nurse, but I knew we were missing something.

About our sixth year into marriage I was overjoyed to find out I was pregnant. I started writing a journal to the little one I'd never see or hold, as she was lost to us in her 11^th week. Not long afterward, this same scenario occurred again. My heart ached and I sobbed out with empty arms. I wondered if I might ever be able have a child. My prayers never ceased and resembled those that Hannah (from the Bible) must have prayed. I took comfort, that it was possible to conceive again. I relied on God's love and His plan for us.

In our eighth year, I was with child again. At exactly the fourth month, I felt the first fluttering movements stirring within me. I was sitting in a meeting at my job at the time, and I wanted to jump up and shout. I hid my secret (with a huge smile on my face) till the meeting was over. I knew my baby was alive – a most precious gift!

Josiah was born at home in the heat of Florida's July, 1986. Words cannot describe how we felt to be parents of our darling baby. I love to look at the photo of my husband's face holding his firstborn son, with tears streaming down his cheeks, and remembering the first prayer of thanksgiving that he offered up for him.

Fourteen years have passed, and when standing, my baby's eyes now smile down into mine. He has three younger brothers, all miracles to me. I've learned to trust God in all things in my life. I can see that His timing was perfect.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Psalm 139 and I read it often... “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are they works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

We are blessed, indeed.

(Photos from top to bottom: Josiah at ten, Gideon at seven, Benjamin at four, Jeremiah at one; twelve years ago now. Josiah is presently 22)

Our Homeschool

I was asked to write a short paragraph on our homeschooling experience for the yearbook. I thought, "Me, only write one paragraph?" But I will share what I came up with:

We have always schooled at home and it is one of my favorite things to do! This is because I am very involved, I love learning along with my boys, and witnessing their growth and progress on a daily-monthly-yearly basis is such a blessing to me. Two of our four sons are graduated and in college and that leaves two teenagers. We are eclectic in that we utilize things from many different methods and styles. I have always loved learning together with book and unit studies, and we like to concentrate on history chronologically at this time. I have been inspired by Charlotte Mason and have benefited from researching into her methods. The main gist of our education revolves around reading great, inspiring, living books, many of which we read aloud together. I have found that sharing a great story and discussing it produces a special bonding between family members and gives insight into their character and thought processes. Independent learning is also very important, as I believe "what a child discovers for himself he is more apt to keep," allowing for creativity, individuality and responsibility to flourish. We are sincere in saying that homeschooling provides the best education for our children and we thank God for the honor and delight of teaching them at home.

I Am a Princess

My husband told me to lie down on the bed and close my eyes. "I want you to know how it feels to be a princess," he told me. Curious, I did as I was told. Within moments, I was hysterical as I felt this light feathery touch going up and down my body. I squinted open my eyes to see the long, green, princess feeling device in his hand - a peacock feather. So, I do know what it feels like to be a princess.

Father's Day is quickly approaching and I think it's wonderful to share a close relationship with our earthly Fathers but I don't want to neglect the relationship with my Heavenly Father, the King. That makes me a Princess.

Do you have a favorite song? One that you can identify with? That you could listen to over and over again? That you just want to share with all your best friends? Let me share with you Susi Meredith's I Am A Princess, from her Secret Place CD.

You are a Princess! Act like a Princess! Feel your Father - the King's, presence in everything you do. Trust Him, that He is always there for you and that His love is enough. Through Him you will find strength and all you need.

I Am a Princess
©1975 Susi A. Meredith; from the CD "Secret Place"

-1- I am a princess and my Father is the King
He loves me when I'm angry,
He loves me when I sing
And when I disappoint Him
Still He loves me just the same
He told me I'm His treasure
He left His throne to bear my shame
I'm a princess and The King has crowned me with His Name


-2- I am a princess and my Father is the One
Who holds all things together by His power and His love
He keeps the planets spinning
Each one in its perfect place
And right from the beginning
I was predestined by His grace
To be a princess
And the King has crowned me with His Name


(bridge) I don't live in a castle
I don't live high up on a hill
And I don't ride white horses yet
But I hope someday I will
I like to dream about
All the things He has in store
Just maybe stars are really stepping stones
That lead to my front door
He told me He's preparing
A beautiful mansion just for me
With windows made of rainbows
Looking out across the crystal sea
I'm a princess
Everything The King has
He wants to share with me


-3- When everything is ready
He will come to claim His own
Royal sons and daughters
Who have been loyal to His throne
His love is beyond measure
His firstborn Son removed our shame
He's called us His own treasure
Though the earth may shake
We shall remain
Ill be with Him forever
And even though we shall be changed
I'm still a princess and The King has crowned me with His Name
I'm a princess and The King has crowned me with His Name
I'm a princess and The King has crowned me with His Royal Name
His Royal Name His Royal Name.......

Windows to the Heart

I'm going to admit something: I've had a rough few years. Turning 50 seemed to be the year the Lord decided He really wanted my attention. As I reflect back, it was a wake up yell that God desired a life of dedication to Him first and a new direction for me, specifically concerning my relationship to my husband. I put the past behind me and stepped out on faith. It feels invigorating to have a renewed perspective and so much to live for, but I’m still striving for a pure heart with a mouth to match.

Try this exercise: Think of a woman you know personally whom you greatly admire. What is it about her that you find most appealing? Which attributes does she have that you wish you had more of?

Instantly, I thought of a dear, but now distant friend, married for decades, with a large, extended family, who produced seven beautiful daughters who are clone miniatures of herself. It occurred to me that she always had kind words, with the sweetest disposition. (I’m excluding righteous indignation here, since I am aware there is a place for that — you know, don’t mess with Mama! I’m also not meaning that she doesn’t ever voice her pertinent opinions, or has a lack of spunk.)

She always spoke with kind regard, gentleness, love, honor and moderation. I could not envision her yelling at her children due to frustrations (and I’m sure she had them) or ever speaking in anger toward her husband, or throwing a temper tantrum, or gossiping, or speaking evil toward anyone. I thought of Galations 5:22, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” She possessed the fruit of the Spirit, and it reflected in her words — they were windows to her heart.

Some of what I most admired:
1. Smiles a lot; is happy and contented
2. Caring, loving, and thoughtful
3. Always encourages with words
4. Is highly organized and clean
5. Helps others unselfishly
6. Is adored by her husband, children, and grandchildren
7. Seeks wisdom and willingly shares what she has learned
8. Lives righteously
9. Takes good care of herself
10. Doesn’t complain; is optimistic; has faith
11. Has a close relationship with God

Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Do you recall the saying, “The mouth speaks the abundance of the heart”? My friend had possession of a right spirit which guards the tongue. Ah! That’s what I want — what I need more of — that “right” spirit. I have ridden that emotional roller coaster of words that can only tear down and destroy, and I want to get off it for good! I realize that with the “right” spirit, my words can always be encouraging and building up my household, and bringing forth rich fruit.

Yes, I want to be that smiling woman with the lovely countenance, always with pleasant words that encourage and love and heal — a renewed woman of strength and self control. I want to be the optimistic mate and mother, with words that possess life, laughter and love. And when I approach the sweet morning hours of each new day, that will be a priority and my prayer.

Tending the Nest

This is taken from my journal in what seems like ages ago but came to mind this winter when our Keeper's Club ventured into a delightful bird study. Jeremiah, the photographer, captured this feathered reminder that God so lovingly cares for us.

In wisdom, God has set His example in nature, which draws us closer to Him.

I was in awe of my little feathered neighbor who had skillfully built her home under the roofing outside our back porch. As I washed dishes I admired her character, peering through my kitchen window. Piece by piece, she chose the framework for her nesting house. Patiently, she tended tiny speckled domes that held her offspring. In a short time, she was happily playing servant-momma to five demanding chicks. I timed her. Every fifteen minutes she'd return with a fat morsel of food which she divided among them. The helpless babies would chirp and call for momma 'til they were satisfied. She offered no complaints and lovingly spent the next two weeks in this manner. The day came when the fuzzy babies had grown almost as big as she, and I noticed one by one, that they no longer inhabited the nest.

Only bits of twig remain behind now, as my four young boys and I delight in observing the gathering of kindred birds who search for nourishment in our backyard and sing praises to their Maker. Like momma bird, I have but a short time to spend nurturing my babies, and then they will be off fluttering on their own. I ponder how well I am providing for a welcome, happy and healthy home for my family. If only I could be half as patient and diligent in duty, tending to my little ones! As busy days come and go, let me find myself as non-complaining, and treasuring each precious hour. And when I find my nest empty, I will join the others that share a similar fate, with His song in my heart.