Polishing the Armor

A few days ago we sat in our living room along with all four of our sons (a rare occasion these days) and after Gideon's spiel and demonstration with Sheen Genie, a new metal polishing product that he sells at car events, we had a wonderful party, shining up all the metal items we could find. Keys, coins, jewelry, lamp bases, car parts and wheels, ammunition rounds, photo frames, you name it! So many things had sat in an ugly, dirt-smudged, and sometimes rusted state for years because no one thought about or cared to keep them polished and clean.

I could say the same about many things in my life that I have ignored or considered unworthy of my attention. I have a supernatural ability to make things invisible, like closet clutter and cobwebs, dust, and miniscule corner-dwelling creatures. A sad fact is that our relationships fall in this category too!



Rust damage is permanent, and if severe, the object may not be repairable. That's why it's important to protect it from rust in the first place. Rust eats away at the original and creates varying rough spots along the edges. A controlled grinding (or polishing) smooths out the rough surface and restores the shine.

Some important lessons are learned the hard way, and thankfully, our rusty marriage has been on the mend for about eight years now. My husband credits me with helping him remove the rust and restoring his reflective shine. In fact, I'm starting to glow more too. 

If you are homeschooling, you know that your marriage is one important cornerstone of keeping it all together. All marriages and all partners are different and I don't expect everyone to relate 100% to this, but perhaps there are a few universal points here that will get your attention. Following, is my list for preventative maintenance.

 10 Ways to Keep His Armor Shining

1. Remove the rust.  

I woke up suddenly one day to find myself in a rusty relationship. How did this happen? Where had I been? What was I doing? First I cried. Then I prayed. Then we talked. I had a decision to make: Start polishing!

 

2. Admire him. 

This is a biggie for my husband and I hadn't realized it. He's bound to fall off a pedestal, so don't go that far. Remember that he is human and not perfect. Respect him, and admire all those wonderful things about him—the ones that made you fall in love with him in the first place—and all of those that came with time and wisdom since. For me, it required an attitude change of the heart. During one of our most difficult years I made a conscious effort and made him an "Admiration Award." He loved it, and it hangs on our bedroom wall as a reminder to us both.

3. Know his needs/desires.  

And act on them. This includes speaking his love language. We took a survey once from the book His Needs, Her Needs, to find that, out of a list of ten needs, his top five needs coincided with my bottom five needs, and my top five needs were the same as his bottom five needs. Our priority needs were the exact opposites! I wasn't surprised though, I knew that we were opposites and it was one of the those things that attracted us to one another in the first place, so very long ago. You can't be proficient with knowing his desires and doing them though, unless you have practice with #4 . . .

4. Communicate effectively. 

I can't believe how many years we went without talking about important issues that affected our marriage. We let a major storm slam us into the floor before we woke out of our dazzled state and did something constructive like reading and discussing books together. Once we stepped out of our comfort zone the light began to shine on those hazy areas. A little counseling didn't hurt either. Don't belittle him or his judgement. Don't talk to him like one of the children. Check your attitude.

5. Hold him accountable.

Finances. The Internet. Don't ignore pertinent issues or assume that all is well when you really don't know. Work as a team to meet set goals and jointly keep each other in the loop. For years, my husband didn't want to burden me with financial issues so he handled them alone. I didn't question him, but it was not a wise decision. Down the road this led to problems that need not have been. A preacher once told my husband that he would not have the Internet in his home—because he would not want the temptation there. Christians are human too. Be informed and proactive. You are in this thing together—remember that!

6. Pray for him and with him.

I am a huge proponent of prayer! Praying together will bring you closer. Time and time again, our Father Above has been there for us, intervened, and sustained us through the difficult and the blessed! Prayer is not just for meals, it is for every occasion.

7. Enjoy his company.

Find things to do together. Laugh. Share hobbies. Smile. This has become easier since our sons are all grown. One of our problems years ago was that we hardly ever used babysitters and we were seldom alone outside of the bedroom. Have a weekly date night. Make time to enjoy his company, just between the two of you.

8. Forgive.

And keep forgiving. This is huge, yet so simple and profound. I have to admit that this was hard for me to do. I had thought that some things were unforgivable. I was a grudge keeper. I'd act like I was OK, but deep down I kept a list, and the list grew and grew and then it got so big that it impeded my vision and my focus and my heart was in torment. It dawned on me one day that forgiveness may be the biggest problem I faced. I started re-reading and studying the words of Jesus, and several outstanding books on the subject and finally came to terms with my unforgiving attitude. I found out that I'm in need of forgiveness too, and that most people really do, do the best they can. If they could do better, they would have. I'm still working on my forgiving attitude and I've come a long way. Mostly, it has helped me more fully trust God and be happier within myself. I have to leave the past in the past, learn from it, and create peace in the present. God forgives us as we forgive others.

9. Coat with kindness.  

You can protect the marriage coat with love and kindness. I cannot change him. I don't have to like everything about my husband. And I don't. I remember reading a long time ago how to think of my husband as having two halves of his face. On the one side are the things I really love and admire. On the other are the things that I don't particularly like or maybe totally dislike. Well, I simply keep my focus on the good half. That's what I've tried to do. Treat him like I would a stranger—and better—he's worth it.

10. Labor with love.

You know the territory . . . love is a decision. An act of your will. In addition to all of the above, I have to mention that you should be his #1 fan and feed him well. No one can feel good, look good or continue to run on empty. Consider his diet and what nourishment you provide. Are you affectionate?  Are you lifting him up or cutting him down? Are you caring for yourself properly?

I'm thankful for the turmoil we went through. Without it, we'd be back in the same sad situation we had been in. Through adversity comes triumph. God can even take something meant for evil and use it for good! It takes time to smooth out the rough spots, but in the end you could have a reflection of near perfection—a glimpse in the mirror of the One that gave you life.

Make it a habit. Every time you come in contact with your treasured man-of-steel, give him a loving wipe-down. If you do this every time, you'll help keep him polished and his armor shining and rust-free.

I'd love to hear your reflections on polishing the armor.

Making Connections: Keepers Club

 

Hiking trips acquainted us with our beautiful local terrain, and our use of newly acquired skills.
 

Making connections with other like-minded families was an important part of homeschooling for our family of four boys. When we first moved to a new state when our oldest was 11 and the youngest was 2, we felt out of place and it took awhile to feel comfortable around others. Fortunately, we joined forces with a local homeschool group which helped a lot, but we still had to make efforts to meet others, and get to know families on an individual basis. It's worth the effort to shake away the shyness, smile, and invite others into your lives.

Although we did this Keepers of the Faith program within our own family when the boys were younger, just a few years ago we used this excellent program while meeting every two weeks with a number of families we knew from our local homeschool group. We called ourselves the Keepers Club. This is a Christian based program that taught our children many practical skills not normally learned in an academic setting. It was a fabulous, fun year of learning all sorts of things! There were delightful hands-on activities, creative crafts, and interwoven field trips, and interesting things to learn and people to meet. 

Who can catch the most crawdads at the lake?

Within the program our children worked toward completing requirements for a specific study as outlined in the purchased program books (Contenders for the Faith for boys and Keepers at Home for girls), but our club combined the whole family together and we selected topics of interest to all. The category selection is huge—from home skills and caring for animals, to creative arts, hobbies, recreation, and academics too. We always customized and added to the standard requirements. The children earned colorful insignia pins (badges) that could be used in a variety of ways. For this particular group we also offered an alternative—a certificate of completion.

Badges Earned that Year:

Hiking

Knots

Birds

First Aid

Scrapbooking

Many of you take part in a co-op and I've heard marvelous things about some of them. Then I've heard some not so marvelous things. Attempts to set up a large co-op in my community failed, but attempts to combine a limited number of families on a small scale like this worked great! I do think of it like a small co-op where every family participates and adds to the whole.

I shared my love of scrapbooking and several creative paper designs.

Hamming it up after a lesson in first aid bandaging techniques.

Making bird masks added to our bird study.

The Certificate of Completion was an alternative to the insignia pins.

Part of our first aid study included an awesome field trip 

with the Air-Evac Life Team and helicopter.

Here's how you do it! Practicing CPR.

J.J. and Ben stop for a rest on a hike.

J.J. shares his road runner drawing.

The kids loved learning about fire safety and enjoyed a trip to the police station.

It's a boy thing—being handcuffed!

Take time to find out what interests your family, and team up with some homeschooling friends to enjoy a fabulous year!

Today's Contest Winners are . . .

Congratulations! 

 Deanna and Rachell

* Deanna is the winner of the International Geography Quest project pack on CD, and Rachell is the winner of the North America project pack on CD.

*(Deanna, I need you to contact me: katheemarie77 at yahoo dot com)

 A big thank you to all who entered and please visit again!

Happy Homeschooling,

KathyMarie

Looking Back: Top 10 Homeschool Projects

Today I am linking up with Many Little Blessings

for Top Ten {Tuesday}

Now that I have graduated the last of four sons, I'm looking back and missing many of those wonderful moments-days-weeks where we enjoyed a close bond while learning about life together with special projects and activities. Off the top of my head, I'm randomly pulling out memories to store and share right here: 

Top 10 homeschool projects to focus on while you forget about everything else!

And that's kind of how it was with most of these particular projects. We allowed creativity to lead us, and rolled a number of subject areas into one. (Most often math was left out, but we did happen to do some math related projects too, though none made it into this particular list). I'll provide you with a short commentary here, but look to the future for lengthier posts on some of these:

1. In-house mailboxes - They were made out of cereal and oatmeal boxes, decorated and placed in various places in our house. All four boys had one as well as Mom and Dad, and we wrote notes and shared surprises with one other. It was an encouraging lark for a season of our lives when the guys were smaller.

2. Real book and story making - While reading a book (biographies are great), jot down notes on the important aspects after the reading of each chapter, then rewrite the story in your own words. On several occasions the boys also wrote stories of their own and made real handmade hardbound books. (Creating Books with Children was one of the resources we used.)

3. Published our own newsletter: The Homeschool Gazette lasted for six years. You can read about it in another post here. Wonderful experience all the way around!

4. Anonymous quote-card writing ministry - Most often we sent cards to friends or folks we wanted to encourage at church. The boys would discover a favorite quote or Scripture they liked and write it in their best hand writing and send it out in the mail. It was fun!

A homeschooling friend practices the Heimlich Maneuver 

as part of our first-aid study

5. Keeper's Club was the name of our homeschool group based on the Keepers of the Faith clubs. We actually participated with just our own family years before we joined forces with families from our local homeschool group. I think it was the best homeschool year we had. We customized studies from: knots, birds, first aid, hiking, and scrapbooking! It was a WOW year!

6. Science Fair projects were few and far between but I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. We'd take off school entirely for a month and just work on projects! Highly recommended!

7.  A goals list is a handy thing to have. Make a creative list of all the things you would like to do someday (goals), and then start doing them, crossing off one at a time. You can write a supplementary list of goals to work on immediately and then list how you will go
about meeting those goals. Included are short and long term goals.

One of J.J.'s lovely bird photos in his collection

8. Do a nature-study project. I think most families already do this to some degree—it just comes naturally. Keep a nature journal including photos and drawings and/or start a blog. The year we studied birds with the Keeper's Club, my son spent the winter and spring photographing birds and making a photo/journal. But, there were really a lot of different projects with nature study that went on over the years.

9. Make your own Monopoly Board Game! The boys had the best time making this and coming up with the names and card sayings. You can read about the Monopoly Make-over here.

10. Memorizing Psalm 91.We did it—we memorized the whole (KJV) thing! Mom too. Making time for memorization and studying God's Word is the best project around. I know a family that memorizes whole books of the Bible. Go for it.

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: 

my God; in him will I trust.

Our Contest Winner for God & Christian Artists is . . .

Ambre, you are our winner!  

My thanks to all of you who visited and participated in the Curriculum Clean-OUT here at Living & Learning @ Home!

Ambre, I hope you and your family enjoy the book.

Happy Homeschooling,

KathyMarie

Curriculum Clean-OUT: 2 ITHOAC Geography Unit Pack CDs

This contest in now closed.

Congratulations to our winners:

Deanna and Rachell

Homeschool Book Give-away! You could win!

In the Hands of a Child . . . 

International Geography Quest on CD and North America on CD

There's a Curriculum Clean-OUT going on over at Homeschool Creations and I'm offering these two wonderful products in addition to the God & Christian Artists book that could be yours. 

Do you love the idea of notebooking? Or lapbooking? Unit studies have been one of our favorite ways to learn over the years and while we kind of missed the lapbooking craze when it first came out, we've been avid scrap-bookers and book-makers never-the-less. These hands-on, creative unit packs really make learning fun. So, let me suggest that you give these a try and others from . . .

In the Hands of a Child . . .

International Geography Quest on CD:

Learn about the science of Geography in a unique and interesting hands-on way! This CD is jam-packed with information and activities! Includes a 12-day Planning Guide, Related Reading List, 22 Hands-On Activities, 19-page Research Guide, and Answer Key PLUS- Use the 21 additional Hands-On Activities to complete a study on any country.

North America on CD:

With this thematic unit study  pack you will teach your kids (3rd grade and up) about the continent of North America. This pack includes a 14-day Planning Guide, Related Reading List, 23 Hands-On Activities, a 24-page Research Guide, and Answer Key about North American people, geography, climate, economy, wildlife, countries, and more! 

We'll choose two winners—one for each of the unit pack CDs mentioned above.

To enter: Please leave a comment below telling me where in the world you'd love to take your kids on a field trip, or tell me about the best field trip you've ever been on! You'll get a bonus entry if you decide to follow my blog by becoming a member. You don't have to, just let me know that you did. We'll pick a winner at random on Wednesday afternoon 3PM, August 8th. Please make sure in your comment that I have a way to contact you if you win. (Ships free media mail to mainland U.S.)

 Homeschool Creations

You'll want to go to their blog to find the other fabulous giveaways posted. It won't cost you a nickel if you win!

Curriculum Clean-OUT: Win God & Christian Artists

This contest is now closed.

Congratulations to our winner: Ambre

Homeschool Book Give-away!

Anyone who knows me, also knows how much I have loved being a homeschooling Mom to my (now graduated) four sons. I learned along side them and learned from them. What a great blessing learning at home is!

At this stage, I have a lot of books and curriculum that need to find a  new home. I reluctantly sold a few larger items on Ebay (my beloved books, my steady friends!) and set lower prices to move some books at a local used book sale. Then I saw this neat blog hop Curriculum Clean-OUT going on over at Homeschool Creations and thought I'd join in. When you get done here head over to check out the other giveaways posted. There are some interesting items and it won't cost a nickel if you win!

Have you decided what to use for art this year? Let me suggest . . .

 

God & Christian Artists

How Great Thou Art Series by Barry Stebbing

 Win this book!

What a neat art exploration/art history book! This text provides a 69-lesson, one-year art course. Drawing and color theory are covered while exploring artistic periods and artists—Rembrandt, Fra Angelico, Millet, and others—who have used their talents to glorify God. Ages 8 to 13. 102 reproducible pages, spiralbound softcover.

To enter: please leave a comment below telling me what you love most about art, or a funny incident that happened in your homeschool! You'll get a bonus entry if you decide to join my blog by becoming a member. You don't have to, just let me know that you did. We'll pick a winner at random on Sunday, August 5th. Please make sure in your comment that I have a way to contact you if you win. (Ships free media mail to mainland U.S.)

Homeschool Creations

Enjoy these great homeschooling years with your family—they end too quickly.

—KathyMarie

10 Favorite Quotes

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires. —William Ward

I love books. I love words and word images. I love and collect quotes. Here are 10 top favorites that I've collected in recent months with a short commentary:

1. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.  —Jack London

This last year my motto has been to seize opportunity when it knocks. As an introvert I don't get out often enough and I find that if I push myself a bit I am rewarded by the experience.

2. I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.      —Stephen Covey 

Whose in charge of my life? I don't have to embrace ill circumstances of what may have happened to me in the past, and the important decisions I've made and accepted regarding them are what shape me.

3. Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty.  —Thomas Jefferson

Oooeee.  I'm a peacemaker at heart and I like calm! Guess I'm in the timid category. I'm all for liberty, but I surrender to my hubby most of the time and let him fly with the tempestuous sea part.

4. If you can't get a miracle, become one.  —Nick Vujicic, man born without limbs

I love this quote and greatly admire Nick Vujicic. When I think of Nick I instantly perk up. Listening to him speak gives me goosebumps and makes me further in awe of our Creator who made Nick the way he is, and who gives God glory for all. 

5. Sometimes I think it's better to suffer bitter unhappiness and to fight and to scream out, and even to suffer that terrible pain, than to just be... safe. At least she knows she's living.  —Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn was my favorite fiction book I read in the last year (based on the author's true life experiences). Oh wow! I want to write like Betty Smith. I want to live and feel like the characters in her book. Read it!

6. So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.  —Dr. Seuss

I actually took out and replaced two quotes from this original list because of their length, style, and creed. I didn't want to make it a chore for possible readers to read.

7. If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing. —Benjamin Franklin

I have lived a long fulfilling life thus far, but perhaps no one would realize it but me. I should write a memoir!

8. What makes people smart, curious, alert, observant, competent, confident, resourceful, persistent—in the broadest and best sense, intelligent—is not having access to more and more learning places, resources, and specialists, but being able in their lives to do a wide variety of interesting things that matter, things that challenge their ingenuity, skill, and judgment, and that make an obvious difference in their lives and the lives of people around them.  —John Holt, Teach Your Own

I'm going to miss homeschooling my four sons big time! I'm thankful to have been introduced to Mr. John Holt early on in our homeschool. He was a very wise man.

9. . . . We cannot change our past  . . . we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude . . . I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. —Chuck Swindoll

Old, but so true. Attitude is everything, or as Chuck puts it—it comes pretty close! This goes along with #2 above. It must be that these sayings resonate with my life in an important way.

10. We were lucky enough to grow up in a home environment where there was always much encouragement to children to pursue intellectual interests; to investigate whatever aroused their curiosity.  —Orville Wright

Heroes are important to have. The Wright Brothers have inspired us through their writings along with a host of others over the years. Biographies and autobiographies are a pleasure to read and we walk away a better person as a result.

What are your favorites?

It's fun to be linking up to Top Ten Tuesday!

Momma Hugs

This cute little picture put a big smile on my face today. (That's me, on the left.)

How often have I been in a difficult place of mind when something simple changed my focus? A touching incident, or an actual touch.


Out of the blue, my teenage son comes up to me . . . "Can I have a Momma hug?"  or "I haven't had my Momma hug in a while." Then, the best part—he wraps his strong lanky arms around me and squeezes me tight. 

For the brief minute this takes place I am transported to Momma Mountain, that restful place above the clouds where everything is fine and life is at its best. I am loved. I am nestled in God's arms through my son's. I linger there awhile.

I'm overwhelmed 'cause God lovingly chose me to be the Momma to four living wonders—servants of His in a world gone crazy. I realize that we did something right in raising these boys. I'm reminded that they all need hugs too.


Sometimes a hug is all you need. 

Sometimes a hug is all I need.

What Works Wednesday: How I Educated Myself

I already knew how to read when I entered first grade at St. James Elementary. In fact, I don't remember a time not being able to read, or write for that matter. Maybe it's just my poor memory, since I do have what seems to be years of my life that I cannot remember at all, or maybe it's because I'm already half-past the age toward self-destruct. But I don't want to go there . . .

This July 18th post I'm linking up with What Works Wednesday thanks to Upside Down Homeschooling:

 When my first child was born 26 years ago my husband gently brought up the subject of homeschooling—NOT! He matter-of-factly told me that we would homeschool. (It was kind of like the way he announced that we'd have our babies at home the year before.) His desire for homeschooling stemmed from his misadventures in public school education. He did not want his sons to have to go through what he did. I however, loved school, and used to play teacher to my younger sister, the student. I kind of liked the idea!

 My baby—the last of the bunch!

So, I  left nine years of registered nursing behind to embark on this new journey called boys and all that would come with it. My heavenly dreams of having a child finally materialized, but with my mind reeling and my heart skipping, there was a lot I needed to know, and quickly. I had a great desire to learn. I read numerous books. I interviewed people. I took classes. I discussed things with hubby, and the perfect plan ensued.

In time, I found myself as the nurturing Momma hen to four delightful boys (about three years apart in age). Our homeschool journey fascinated me. Having loved books and going to the library as a child, I adored taking the boys to check out books and we read aloud 'til they dropped off to sleep at night. And I discovered the classics that I had missed as a child (pretty much all of them) so I delightedly would read, while the child-in-me clapped at each book's end for an encore.

 Just about all grown up!

It dawned on me down the road, somewhere between consonant blends and algebra, that I was getting much more out of homeschooling than I'd realized. I had been educating myself right along with the boys! 

The history and geography I knew little of and hadn't liked in grade school, now caught my attention through the lively stories we read and fun activities we did. The arithmetic I had forgotten, reappeared with new meaning. Experiments pretty much just happened in our household and my love for nursing and the workings of the human body kept me on my toes fashioning unit studies using living books in many fascinating areas of science. The arts I enjoyed gave me opportunities to share with my sons and we ventured into new crafty areas. The creative writing I adored (needing much polish) opened doors for self-improvement as I learned many of the missing links in my English education. Bible studies came alive as we took from what we learned to make our lives more complete and useful with our new understanding of God's design for our lives and grace through Jesus Christ. 

Of course, parenting, being a homeschool Mom, and attempting to keep a marriage in swing was/is quite an education in itself.

I think there is a point here somewhere . . . You will learn what you have an interest in learning. Force feeding doesn't work. A child needs to be engaged to learn, just like we do as adults. Sure, I learned things and passed tests with As for many years growing up, but that information quickly left me. Last year I studied for four months every day and re-took my RN licensure exams and passed! I was stunned, but you know, I had some interest in the material, but did cram a lot in and that short-term memory study for a test didn't last too long. If I don't use the material much will be lost. We can expect the same from our kids.

Perceptions are important. Writing is not a school subject, it's a necessary life skill. Engaging children in such a way that appeals to them is a worthy goal in all subject areas. Embracing a child's learning style and individual abilities just adds more education to your life! 

Now that all my sons have graduated, homeschool hasn't ended for me, and it hasn't ended for them. In fact, my youngest son wasn't all gung-ho about the graduating aspect completing 12th grade at all. I thought it was a big thing—apparently not for him. He said he doesn't like the way some new grads he knows think that they've arrived somehow. For him the transition toward his future life is just another step in the learning game, as it should be. Every day brings something new and there is so much to learn! I like that mindset. And I admire and respect his perspective, so I didn't make a big deal of graduation (even though I wanted to).

We educate ourselves in our own ways. Just by living, we learn whether we want to or not. Make the most of it!

“I have set the Lord always before me: because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope” (Psalm 16: 8, 9).

I think I've had a pretty good education thus far—thanks guys, for all you've taught me!  

Happy Homeschooling!

—KathyMarie