Motivating Boys to Do School

I responded to an e-newsletter about this subject when a frustrated mom said her boys "do not want to do their schoolwork, and it is a battle come school time." Her slightly older daughter was a different story. I thought I would share my perspective here:

I've been a homeschooling mom of four sons for the past 17+ years and I think I've learned some valuable lessons. I know that this is not necessarily a "boy" problem, though it may be more prevalent since boys tend to mature slower than girls. Some personality types adore all the paper work and attention to details while some students (especially some boys) just aren't impressed. All children however should have a natural curiosity and be excited about learning which can be expressed in a number of ways—other than writing or filling in workbooks etc. If you use a "canned" curriculum that is meant for a classroom of kids, there is no way that you will be teaching to your individual child's strengths, interests or abilities.

We approached school as an enjoyable learning time and "lifestyle" together—very flexible. My desire to learn along with my sons meant that I was always very involved. I made time to do more fun things together, tap into their interests, utilize more oral (rather than written) expressions of learning in the earlier years, along with many hands-on activities. We always read aloud and discussed many great books together. Unit studies worked very well for us. I had two very late readers who eventually caught up. I had a gifted son who needed very little from me, as well as two sons with delayed abilities which meant doing math together for many years, lots of spelling games, and utilizing hands-on learning. My advice is to tune into your children's needs and wants.

How do you get them to care and become self motivated? You have to spark their interest. They have to see a relevancy in what you are making them do. Here are some ideas: Find more practical and interesting writing assignments—a letter to Grandpa, a friend or the President! Keep notes about observations for a science project; design a game and write the activity cards for it; create true/false questions about a subject you are learning and test Dad and your friends; dramatize a story; let them dictate a story or poem to you and make it into a real book to be shared; write a review on a book they liked for a kid's magazine or Amazon.com; make a recording of a story complete with sound effects; enjoy scrapbooking as a family writing captions for photos or each member can tell their side of the picture story presented. Project oriented ideas can be wonderful motivators adding a fun element. (see my list of many more ideas in a previous posting)

Help children to take pride in their work. Offer encouragement and praise for each little success they show. Take it one step at a time. It may be that your expectations are too high. Help them form good new habits and enjoy expressing their ideas. Learn to enjoy your boys and their unique perspective on life and don't be afraid to ask them what they'd like to learn and follow up on it. Pray, pray and keep on praying for God to guide you in this awesome journey of living and learning with your precious children.

Photo Credit: Benjamin takes a different look at Jeremiah who is reading a creative story he wrote to a class of other homeschoolers.

Missing Gideon . . .

Here are Jeremiah 14, Benjamin 17, Gideon (almost) 21 and Josiah 23

Oct. '09: Our second oldest flew the coop.

I always knew the day would come, and that it wasn't going to be that easy to "let go". I really feel the void these last weeks of Gideon's absence. But, it's a wonderful thing to have independence and be responsible and fend for yourself.

I did so too, the minute I turned 18—not that my family life was bad or anything—I just had the most pressing urge to "be my own boss," and after awhile I found out just how difficult it can be—though I learned a whole lot through that experience.

Gideon is a bit older than I was and a whole lot wiser (I do believe) with so much more going for him, and he'll do very well. The pic above was taken on our first visit to his new apartment. We had such a fun day visiting and anticipate many more such fun days to come. My prayers for him are many as with all the boys. I'll survive—but I need a bit more time to adjust.

Thanksgiving/Christmas Holiday Freebie!

TOS Digital Holiday Supplement
This is one resource you won't want to miss! The Old Schoolhouse Magazine has an outstanding E-Magazine full of holiday delights—activities, inspiration, gift ideas, traditions, recipes—some wonderful ideas to start your planning in the right direction. Enjoy!

A Brand New Homeschooling Year!

I'm finding out that when you have a side job that consists of a lot of writing, you don't have much time to write the things you really want to write about—I miss that part of my life!

I haven't written here in so long I feel the urge to just put down a little something so here goes:

Anyway, we've started a brand new school year here, with the last two boys in homeschool high school. I love the beginning of the year and the goal planning stage. The boys have written their goals and I've been working on mine and things are going well. I REALLY want to encourage as much independence as possible with our studies and assist the boys in meeting their goals. I'm open to "What do you want to study for history or science?" as well as "What are your personal goals?

One of Jeremiah's goals is learning how to speak, read and write French. He got interested in this over the summer when he met some French speaking Canadians. I'm thrilled!

I'm utilizing some DVDs this year and we're enjoying one called "How to Be a Super Star Student". Sounds kind of corny, I know, but there's some good stuff in it—and stuff to make you think seriously about study habits and your future. Math DVDs and Language/Composition are on the agenda as well. Standard Deviants has some fun stuff—and you know—we're learning too! Have you guessed I have an auditory learner? I should have been using more DVDs and audios all along!

I look forward to the coming year in a big way. I'm filled with expectations as I always am, but each year that I get closer to the idea of the empty nest, I just want to cherish the days as long as they are there. Sometimes I reminisce about the olden homeschooling years but they are gone. It's a different homeschooling scene here now. But you know, it's just as good!

I hope you have some worthy goals lined up for yourself and family and enjoy the year to the fullest!

Letting Go

I came across this one day after I had a wonderful conversation with a close friend about some of these very things. I just had to share it here:

Letting Go

author unknown

To Let Go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To Let Go is not to cut myself off,
it is the realization I can't control another.

To Let Go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To Let Go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To Let Go is not to try to change or blame another,
it is to make the most of myself.

To Let Go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To Let Go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To Let Go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To Let Go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To Let Go is not to be protective,
it is to permit another to face reality.

To Let Go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To Let Go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To Let Go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To Let Go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To Let Go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To Let Go is to fear less,
and love more.

Getting Hooked on E-Books, Highschool & More

One of the perks with my job at the Old Schoolhouse Magazine is getting to read a lot of the new E-Books that they are producing- most all homeschool related of course.

I am so a lover of hard copy books, but hey, I'm getting used to sitting at the computer and doing some reading there and then a little work too. I've read some fantastic and motivating E-Books in the past two months: Living on One Income-How 12 Families Make it Work; HomeWork (homeschooling and home business); What About Socialization?; Molly's Money-Saving Digest; Turning Points in Homeschooling (I absolutely LOVED this one!); and Creative Nature Study to name a few. All are recommended, by the way, and available now or in the future through the Schoolhouse Store. Perhaps I'm getting hooked on E-Books! I didn't think that was possible.

I enjoyed reading about remarkable families from all walks and backgrounds making homeschooling a success and loving it, with God's guidance through many ups and downs. I'm just really amazed and uplifted and motivated and blessed to be homeschooling and interacting with my family the way we do. I'm also re-evaluating where we're headed in our journey.

I'm going to be project managing a new E-Book (what an opportunity!) on College Prep for Homeschoolers too, so my mind is focusing also, on my own highschooler (though two have since graduated) and my soon to be highschooler, and the path we are taking. Exciting times for sure, when everything you've done and said and tried to do will be put to the test as you watch your children venture out into the scary and awesome world of independence and great responsibility. I think we've done a good job, and I sometimes think of the what ifs, but I can't go back and change anything, and I don't really think I want to. Life's a dance, you learn as you go (hey, I think that's a song!) and anyway we've sure learned a lot and had a bunch of fun on our journey and it's not over yet! So many good things have transpired, but our relationships with each other and with God are still the main priorities.

I was talking with my son, Gideon, 20, today, and you know he just really inspired me and made my heart leap and jump. I am so proud of him, to see the transformation that God has done in him, in the last few years. I can say at one time I was worried about him and his attitude, but miracles happen. If you take a good look at yourself and don't like what you see, make a change. Do something! Make those little steps and more steps and more until they lead to progress and marked change. Anyway, Gideon is like the motivational speaker, pep talk rally coach kind of guy now and inspires everyone around him. I know he'll do great in life. The right attitude goes a longgggggg way!

Well my original thought was that hey, we did great in homeschool highschool because he knows how to learn whatever he wants or needs to, he has a love of learning, he has the skills necessary to learn and do well, and a heart for God and what is good and right. How much more do you really need?

With God's continual hand of guidance on our lives we can't go wrong. It's just amazing when you can simply TRUST God to continue what you have started and KNOW that even though it's not all smooth sailing, there's a good outcome. He's teaching us all manner of worthwhile stuff on this journey.

I love homeschooling! Oh, and I love books, and E-Books too!

Encouragement for the Beginning Reader: Splish the Frog

Meet us in Bliss Hollow where your child can escape for a visit with Splish the frog, his endearing family and homeschooling animal friends. Mama Frog shares her son's frustrations with wisdom and reassurance as she patiently guides Splish along a pathway of understanding and character building with a delightful, heartwarming story, where he finally learns that Mama was right-everyone learns and grows at his own pace—it takes time.

Any beginning reader or struggling-to-read child will relate to Splish, with all of his discouragements, frustrations, trial-and-errors and not trusting Mama that some day he will read.

One of a mother’s treasured gifts to her child—

helping him learn to read.

Learning to read is one of the most important parts of your young child’s home education. He has cuddled up on your lap and heard you read such lively stories to him over and over again. Together, you experience the world of imagination, information and exploration of God’s creation, through living books.

The late reading child wants so badly to decipher those magic, elusive letters on the page, and feels frustrated and discouraged because so many his age and younger can read and he can’t (often within the family). Many parents are tripping through this stressful situation looking for that hopeful day when everything will click. Be assured, it usually will—when they are ready. It is important to remember that they are all on a unique schedule when it comes to reading: God’s schedule.

Where was this book when my two middle boys were learning to read and on a very late schedule? It could have helped make an easier transition for them, that when they were ready it would happen. Of course they heard that from me, but this charming soft cover book encourages so sweetly. I think there are a lot of discouraged, late-reading kids out there that would love to hear this story.

And Then Mama Said . . .it Takes TIme to Learn to Read by Gena Suarez, is a brand new book available from The Old Schoolhouse Store. It comes with a free companion activity book too.

Blessed by an Education!

My life has been a whirlwind of activity the past month and it looks like its not going to slow down much, if at all!

It's so interesting and faith building to look back and see the hand of God in the circumstances surrounding your life. I have felt Him nudging me to write more and more and knew that He was going to use me somewhere down the line in that capacity. One thing has led to another and another and I found myself accepted into a special Marketing Class being offered by TOS (The Old Schoolhouse Magazine) of which I had recently begun a subscription. I was one of 30, chosen out of 125 for this amazing, educational, one month class.

Why was I interested in marketing, of all things? Well, we are a home business family that produces a bimonthly magazine where advertising is involved, and we are looking for new ways to promote ourselves. We also have web sites, my sons are interested in small business ventures, and hey, it's just become an interest so I thought, I can learn something worthwhile here. I was right.

I have been telling myself more and more, that when opportunity comes knocking, if you can, take advantage of it. I didn't want to miss out on this opportunity involving my favorite homeschool magazine with these 30+ friendly, awesome ladies from TOS and elsewhere. AND at the end of the class they offered several staff positions to ladies that had done especially well and successfully completed the class.

Guess what? I was one of those offered a position. Wow, I was almost in shock, but I knew God had called me into this and I shouldn't be surprised at what He can do through me. My new part time position is E-book Production Assistant, and I will work with the production of E-books that TOS produces, writing ads (sell sheets) and managing the E-books and I'm even contributing a chapter in their soon to be released new book To Market, To Market. (The publisher really liked my last written assignment and asked if I'd expand it for the book.) Getting compensated for writing is a dream come true. I pray that I can be a great team member and be used in a significant way in this new endeavor, and continue to be an encouragement to homeschoolers through TOS.

Our Homeschool Gazette Story (Newspapers and Reporters Unit Study)

One of the best unit studies we ever did resulted in a wonderful way of sharing what we were learning and writing with other homeschoolers around the world. This is taken from our web site Homeschool Gazette. We no longer accept submissions there, nor do we have a newsletter, but you'll find some creative ideas and encouraging information. ~Kathy

Since age seven, Josiah took off with reading. He loved 3-2-1 Contact, Ranger Rick, and Highlights magazines. His favorite was Reader's Digest, in which I had to rip out any unwanted articles that I preferred to hide from him. I so enjoyed seeing him curled up with a book, and hear him chuckle at something funny he had read.

Writing was a different story. He had a vivid imagination and could sometimes narrate his ideas, but he seemed to balk at attempts to write on his own, outside of simple thank you notes and short letters to grandma. I felt he needed a reason to write.

An inexpensive work book caught my attention in a homeschool catalog - Newspaper Reporters (an introduction to newspaper writing), published by Teacher Created Materials. At age nine, Josiah, and Gideon, seven, began a unit study on "Newspapers and Reporters". My idea was to study various aspects of good writing related to newspaper and magazine type articles, try writing their own similar articles using our word processor, culminating the study with a newsletter filled with their writings to share with family and friends. The boys thought it sounded like fun. It worked out to be one of the best ideas I've ever had!

Grandma sent a Sunday paper from Ocala, Florida. We lived in Washington state at the time and I wanted a different perspective on the news to study from. We used the workbook but only as a guide to meet our own desires and needs, feeling free to skip parts that we had no interest in (like writing sports stories) or that were redundant, unnecessary, or unappealing to the boys. It had some great ideas though that we had fun using.

Before long, the boys compiled articles, poems, ads, puzzles, cartoons, and a contest. Josiah wrote a humorous piece after reading the Dave Barry columns. He wrote a feature article on traveling through New York state, requiring research. Gideon dictated an intriguing work of prose about springtime. We studied layout, headlines, art, advertising, weather, proofreading, interviews, and editorials. Some of Josiah's work was half narrated, which helped ease his way into writing on his own.

At the time we were ready to embark on our own newsletter compilation, a real live computer had just arrived in our living room! The timing was perfect. Our study turned to computers and learning how to set up our newsletter using Publisher software. We turned out our first Homeschool Gazette soon afterward. The computer became an instant love, and Josiah absorbed knowledge incredibly, as if by osmosis. The newsletter turned out so nice, we all had the idea to continue it, making it a publication that our friends (most all homeschoolers) could participate in. [We published it faithfully for close to five years. Josiah designed and maintains this web site, and other homeschoolers from around the world are welcome to participate.] But best of all, Josiah is a writer, and an editor. When he gets an idea, he can whip out an article on the computer and he enjoys it.

During this particular time of study, we concentrated on writing and language arts. Only a smattering of math was accomplished apart from facts review. We read a lot together, and discussed what we liked about the articles we read and what we didn't like. I also participated by writing some of my own articles to share with the boys. It was a very enjoyable time for all of us. As a side note, I have heard home school moms say to me, "But you are so creative. I could never do what you do!" Perhaps they are afraid to try. We are ALL creative, and just need to act on our ideas. Relax, and let your God inspired creative ideas go wild...

P.S. Our boys are presently 22, 19, 16, & 13.

The Eruption

I want to share this poem because it has touched me so.

By Jen Abbas, an18-year-old child of divorce:

The Eruption

Divorce is like a trembling earthquake,
The world shakes, rumbling with rage,
And all the anger, guilt, and frustrations
That have been festering for so long
below the surface
Suddenly spew upward in an inferno of hate
or apathy.
At times the earth calms and you think the
turmoil is over,
Settled, stable, but then the cycle begins again,
Repeating, repeating, repeating.
You are weary, you want to rest,
And that is when you realize the shaking has
stopped,
But there is an eerie feeling lurking in the air.
You are hesitant to believe anything anymore,
You are so tired after struggling for so long,
And so you rest on the one solid patch of land,
Only to watch it split in two,
Two separate, distinct parts that will never
come together again.
Each new patch supports part of you,
And as you watch, they pull away.